Shana moved from the sitting room to the bedroom, there she parted the curtain blinds and stared outside the window, there was no sign of him or his car. Her hopes had been raised by the sound of a screeching car while she was waiting for Femi in the sitting room. Femi, that was her husband’s name. She glanced at the wall clock in their bedroom, the time was 11: 45pm. Just about a quarter to twelve and her Femi was yet to return home after he left the house as early as 6:30am that morning. She walked to the sitting room and around the dining area, she paused at the dining table and opened the dishes, the dinner she had prepared for him was already getting cold. She was sure that he would not even touch the food when he returns home that night. She was sure because the same scene had played itself the previous day. Two days in a row and her Femi had refused to touch her food! As the clock struck 12, signaling a new day, she thought of going to bed. But how could she have the heart to sleep when her husband was out there probably in the arms of another woman?
Shana: “My own Femi in another woman’s bed!” she thought aloud. She poured herself a glass of cold water and sat on
She ran to the bedside mirror and checked out herself. “But I am still beautiful. Well, I have added a few kilos, I agree but I am still beautiful. Well, I may not have the zeal now to make up and package myself the way I used to before we
The entrance door bell rang and she jerked up from her reverie. In her thoughts, she hadn’t heard when the security man opened the gate for Femi to drive in. She adjusted her pyjamas, cleaned her face and ran to the door and opened it. There he was clad in a carton colour Next stripe shirt on a black trousers and crocodile skin deep brown shoes. He had all the charm in the world to sweep a woman off her feet and all the anger she felt for him staying out late melted at the sight of him. All she wanted to do was spend the rest of her life loving and pleasing Femi. Yes, Femi was her password.
Shana: “Welcome, Ifemi”. His name was Femi but she had customized it to ifemi, Yoruba word for my love. It was a perfect name and few years back, the name alone was enough to put Femi in the mood to sweep her off her feet to the bedroom and give her the pounding of her life just the way she liked it. As he made his way into the sitting room, she rushed at him and hugged him. It was a tight hug, she sniffed the scent of his perfume mixed with his sweat and she felt like holding on to him all her life less another woman snatch him away from her.
Femi was unmoved by her show of affection and all he wanted to do was shower and get to bed, for he had a long day at work and at the other woman’s place. He gently eased his way out of her embrace and made for the room. She, the understanding wife that she is thought that he was very tired after office duties and she closed the door after him and collected his brief case. After undressing, he made his way into the bathroom and she took the opportunity to warm his food in the microwave for she couldn’t bear to serve her Femi cold dishes. She had just finished resetting the dining table when she saw him come out of the bathroom.
Shana: “Dinner is served, Ifemi. Come and eat before you sleep, I see that you have had a very long day”.
Femi ignored her and concentrated on wearing his sleeping robe. All he wanted to do was sleep, food was the last thing on his mind for the other woman had feed him full. When Shana didn’t hear from him, she came to meet him from the dining area. “Ife, I said food is…”
Femi: “You said food is ready, I heard you the first time you spoke. I am not hungry”.
Shana: “You are not hungry? You just got back from work after leaving home early this morning and you say that you are not hungry? Why won’t you be hungry? The Ife that I know doesn’t eat out at nights no matter what”.
Femi: “Oooh! What is it? Can’t a man come home and go to bed peacefully without his wife nagging? I said I am not hungry. Can’t you see that I am tired?”
Shana: “Of course I see that you are very tired. I am not blind. But why would you come back this late? The last time I checked, bank managers don’t stay in the office till 12 midnight”.
Femi: “Is that what the fuss about food is all about? Well, we had a very busy day trying to reconcile our accounts today. As if that was not enough, we had a board meeting to harmonize our report for the month against tomorrow. I am the branch manager and there is no way these meetings can hold without me. I have not had a second to myself since I left home this morning. I thought I was going to find rest when I get home, I didn’t know that there was another question and answer session waiting for me”.
Shana: “I am sorry, Ifemi. I understand how very tedious these things can be”.
Femi: “Good. Thank God you understand. Now, can I sleep in peace?” he went to bed and covered himself from head to toe with his duvet shutting her out of his world.
Few minutes later, after she had packed the dinner she made into the refrigerator, she joined him in bed. She thought of drawing close to him and touching him for she wanted to feel his arms around her but she thought otherwise, not wanting to provoke him since he said he was tired. After about an hour, she was finding it difficult to sleep for her heart was heavy. There was something about Femi’s story about the meeting that she didn’t believe. The Femi she knew would have called her to inform her of the emergency meeting and apologize for coming home late. Also, if he was in a meeting all day as he had claimed, then he was not supposed to refuse her food because he claimed that he hadn’t had any time to himself all day so how comes is he not hungry?
She was still preoccupied with her thoughts when her husband phone began to vibrate. The phone was on the bedside drawer close to her and she peeped to see who the caller was. ‘Real Deal’, that was the name of the caller. “Who could this be and why is he or she calling my husband at this time of the night? Could it be one of his staff in the office? Why should he save anybody’s name as ‘Real Deal’? Is Femi involved in any form of shaddy deal? All these thoughts crossed her mind as she thought of picking the call and answering on his behalf or ignoring it until he wakes up the next day.
She was about stretching forth her hand to pick the call when she saw Femi moved and she lay still pretending to be asleep. He quietly picked the phone and covered himself but she stretched her ears and tried to pick out what he was saying under the duvet. She was careful not to make any turn for he thought she was asleep.
Femi: “Yes, why are you calling me by this time? You should be asleep by now”.
Caller: “I am sorry, but I couldn’t sleep without finding out if you got home safely”.
Femi: “I did get home safely. Now get back to sleep, my wife is here and I don’t want her to wake up and find me making this call”.
Caller: “Common, Fem. I missed you, I wish you are here. I can make do with your arms around me tonight. You know, I wouldn’t mind rolling my tongue on your dick and giving you the sucking of your life. You know how well I can do it baby. Go to the sitting room or restroom and let’s make all night erotic calls”.
Femi: “What! You know what, I will call you back”.
He ended the call and swiftly removed the duvet he had over him and tiptoed out of bed, making great efforts not to wake his wife who was fast asleep, so he thought.
He went into the toilet and closed the door after him and called her back. As soon as he locked the toilet door, his wife also tiptoed out of bed and went towards the toilet door. Careful not to make any sound that will give her away, she pressed her head against the door but she could not make out what he was saying. All she heard was murmurings and she felt she heard Femi make a moaning sound, the type he always made when he wanted to cum in her anytime there were having their rounds of passionate sex.
Shana: “Who is this caller that is capable of making my husband make this sound over the phone? What is she telling him? So, Femi is cheating on me and has the guts to do it so shamelessly? Is this how much he hates me? Real deal? Who is that bitch that is coming for my Femi? What should I do o, should I confront him or should I pretend not to have heard anything?” she thought.
Question: Should Shana confront her husband or should she pretend not to have heard anything?
Shana was carried away thinking of what to do that she didn’t hear Femi end the call and open the door, startling her. He was also frightened when he bumped into her for he was not expecting her to be eavesdropping on his phone conversation since he left her sleeping.
Femi: “Gosh you scared me. What are you doing here? Are you not supposed to be sound asleep by this time?”
Shana remained rooted on the spot and couldn’t find her voice.
Femi: “Have you gone deaf? What is wrong with you?”
Shana: “Ah, erm…er..I mean. Yes, I was sleeping when I had this terrible nightmare and woke up with a start. I didn’t see you on the bed so I thought of checking on you in there”, she pointed at the restroom from where he came.
Femi: “Are you a kid? What sort of nightmare is it that got you so scared you couldn’t wait for me to come out of the toilet?”
Shana: “I wanted to tell you about it before I forget. You know how I easily forget nightmares. I was just about knocking when you opened the door”.
Femi: “You mean you just got to the door when I came out?”
Femi: “Like you didn’t listen to my cal…I mean you weren’t eavesdropping on my conversation?”
Shana: “What conversation are you talking about? I thought you went to ease yourself, were you talking in the toilet?” she feigned ignorance.
Femi: “Me talk in the toilet? No o. I don’t even know what I am saying. In fact, I think I am sleep walking. Lets get back to sleep”, he kissed her on the forehead and led her to bed.
Few minutes later, he was already snoring. Shana was wide awake wondering when and how Femi learnt to lie this smoothly. As she was thinking, she felt her anger rise to her throat and she felt the strong urge to pull his duvet from his head and talk sense into his head but she held her calm for she knew that anger would not yield any positive result in this case.
The next morning, she was still asleep when Femi got ready and drove out of the house. She had pretended to be fast asleep when he grabbed his phone and left in a hurry without giving her a peck on the forehead like he always did and this broke her heart the more.
Femi got to the office in good time to get himself ready for the business of the day. They were recruiting fresh bankers to fill different vacant positions of marketers, tellers and customer relation officers. As the branch manager of one of the most popular branches of the bank, he and the human resource team were going to conduct the interview. This was the second phase of the screening process after the aptitude tests that they had subjected candidates to. He was dressed in a black tuxedo that gave him the fitting of his life. As soon as he drove into the bank premises where the interview was to hold, the security men saluted him and directed him to the parking area reserved for staff. One of the security men went to his colleague at their duty post.
Security 1: “Shebi this oga wey drive enter so na Garki 1 branch manager? Why him no get driver? Other managers get drivers na”.
Security 2: “My brother, the thing heavy me for mouth to talk seff. Them say bank give am driver but him no dey gree make the man drive am because he want to drive himself as per say driving na im hobby”.
Security 1: “Which kind yeye hobby. Him never talk the reason why he no want get driver, the truth go soon commot”.
Security 2: “Shhh. Keep your tongue inside your mouth o, e be like say this job don tire you that is why you dey yarn anyhow”.
When the human resource team settled down to the interview proper, the applicants were called in one after the other and after the interview which lasted for almost three hours, Femi rushed out to pick his calls for his phone has been on silent mode all through the time the interview lasted. Some of the missed calls he saw included calls from his mother, his wife and his mistress whose name he saved as ‘Real Deal’. Quickly, without even thinking of calling his mother or wife, he dialed his mistress’ number.
Femi: “Hello, Sweeri. Somebody almost ran down my battery with calls, don’t tell me you are missing me already”.
Licia: “See who is talking, as if you don’t miss me too. Should I tell you what you have missed today?”
Femi: “Please don’t start o, do you want me to cum inside my trousers at work? Your voice alone is too much seduction”.
Licia: “Are you coming over for lunch? I have…”
Femi: “Oh no baby, not today. I need to rush to my branch now, I came to the headquarters for interview. I will see you later in the evening after work”. When he dropped the call, he saw that his wife was calling. Hissing, he picked up the call.
Femi: “What is it? Have you forgotten that I am at work? You know how I hate to be distracted at work”.
Shana: “Sorry, Ifemi. This is not the first time I am calling you at work now. Anyway, I called to know what you would like to eat as dinner”.
Femi: “Do you have to call to ask that? Look I am tired of your endless questions every day. Use your discretion and cook whatever you want. I have a customer to attend to” he ended the call.
Femi was in the office going through some statements of account when a lady dressed in a sexy mini skirt and lilac skirt walked in. In a second, the expert that he is, Femi allowed his eyes roam from her face which had a perfect make up to her lips, painted in sharp purple lipstick. His eyes moved to her chest which although modest was moving in sync with her breathing. She was of a small frame but very cute. She looked almost like a doll and he felt like grabbing her and playing with her like he did with his toy when he was a child. “Hello”, her husky voice interrupted him.
Femi: “Oh, hi. Welcome to the branch manager’s office, please have a sit. How may I help you?”
Nana: “Hello, Mr Manager”. She said staring at him in the eye.
Femi: “Wait a minute, I have met this pretty face before. Where o, where? Where? Where?”
Nana: “You met me few hours ago. I was one of the applicants you interviewed”.
Femi: “Yes! I remember. Don’t mind me, I meet so many people every day that keeping track of faces is a big problem for me. What can I do for you, please?”
Nana: “I need this job, I need it badly. I don’t care what you want in return, just give me this job and I will do whatever you want”.
Femi: “Are you out of your mind? What is wrong with applicants of nowadays? You think every man is useless like the ones you have met in your pathetic life? Look at my finger; that is a wedding ring. I am married and I love my wife more than anything in the world. You think it’s every time that sex sells? Take your cheap body out of here”.
After closing that day, Femi who was planning to stop over at Licia’s place for lunch was about driving out when he ran into one of his colleagues, the head of customer relations. When he asked why she was yet to go home, she said her car broke down and she was waiting to pick a cab home because she couldn’t reach her husband on phone.
Femi: “I could drop you off, I am going towards that end. I mean I know you have an infant and you should be with him by now, it’s getting late”.
She accepted the offer and got into his car. Shana on the other hand was driving to her favourite supermarket in town to buy some toiletries when she saw a car that looked like her husband’s drive past her. She looked at the plate number of the car and she realized that it was for sure her husband’s car. A closer look at the car revealed that her Femi was not alone but had a woman with him. Femi was driving around town with a woman instead of coming home to her. So this was the woman that had been disturbing her husband’s sleep in the night. She was determined to create a scene and disgrace the woman and so she abandoned the toiletries she wanted to buy and began to chase them in her car. “I will break that lady’s head today, instead of her to look for her own husband, she is going after my man. I will see if she will ever have the guts to go after married men again after I am done with her. As for Femi, I will give him the embarrassment of his life today”. She said as she made effort to catch up with their car.
WATCHOUT FOR EPISODE 3