CRUEL-INTENTIONS
-FINAL-
Three Months later,
‘’At some moment you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart and not in your life.’’
It’s been three months since Jason pas-sed and even though I have been dealing with feelings of loneliness, I had to pick myself back up and live again.
I have been busy the last three months, being a mother to the twins and running Jason’s businesses. Jacey, Julia and Nita have been with me each step of the way.
I don’t know how I would have done it without them by my side.
After the funeral Jacey apologized to me and asked if we could be friends.
And she moved in with us a month ago because being alone was ma-king her think of Jason a lot more than she should. His death still haunts her- she has literary put her life on stand still so she can peacefully mourn him.
And I don’t blame her, she and Jason had a strong bond, they were more than brother and sister, it will take time for her to accept that Jason is really gone.
‘’Mummy!’’ The twins come rushing into my room.
I am sitting in front of the mirror doing my makeup.
‘’Yes,’’ I look up at them.
‘’Faith is being mean,’’ Grace says.
‘’No! You are the mean one,’’ Faith rolls her eyes.
‘’And what happened now?’’ I ask
‘’She called me—,’’ they say at the same time.
‘’I have to tell her first.’’
‘’No, let me tell her first I am the older one.’’
‘’No!’’
This is what I have to go throu-gh every single time, raising twins isn’t child’s pla-y, it’s quiet demanding and challenging, not that I am complaining.
Some days the twins adore each other and on other days, they argue about every little single thing but either way I enjoy being their mother.
I don’t know how and when we started getting along, one minute they were being mean to me and the next they were calling me mummy.
‘’I am getting my face done so I can go out, what do you want me to get you?’’ I ask trying to change the subject.
‘’I want ice cream,’’ says Grace.
Faith smiles before she says, ‘’and I want a banana milk shake.’’
‘’I will bring the cake and the milkshake only if you behave and st©p being mean to each other.’’
‘’Okay,’’ they respond.
‘’hvg and make up,’’ I say and they hvg each other ti-ghtly before they run out of the room.
‘’Problem solved,’’ I laugh.
I finish doing my makeup a few minutes later then I sl!pmy feet into my shoes and gr-ab my bag before I walk out of the room.
Nita and Jacey are pla-ying chess on the verandah.
‘’You are leaving?’’ Nita asks
‘’Yes, I will be back before you know it.’’
‘’Okay.’’
‘’Drive safely,’’ Jacey says.
‘’Thanks sis.’’
I walk to my car, get in and drive off.
I am meeting up with Mike today but I must say I am a bit nervous about the outcome of our meeting. I last saw Mike at Jason’s funeral and after that I shut him out completely because I nee-ded space and time away from him.
He has been texting though and asking to meet me, I finally agreed to meet him today for old times’ sake, I think I owe him that much.
***
I pu-ll up to a nice soul food restaurant and get out of my car. Then I walk inside and find an empty table before I sit. As I wait for Wendy I order some wine. I pour myself a glas-s and start taking large sips I nee-d this to relax my nerves.
Several minutes later, Wendy walks throu-gh the door, she looks super S-xy in that black jumpsuit, one can ha-rd ly tell that she is pregnant.
I found out from Vee that Wendy is pregnant and that is why I have been asking her to meet me, I know she might not want to pursue a relationsh!pwith me right now but I nee-d to know if the child she is carrying is mine.
I wave my hand at her and she smilingly walks towards me.
‘Hey,’’ I stand up and k!ssher on the cheek.
‘’Hey,’’ she says before sitting down.
‘’I thought you were going to stand me up.’’
‘’Why would i?’’
‘’I don’t know.’’
‘’Well I am here now.’’
‘’Thanks for agreeing to meet me.’’
‘’You are welcome.’’
‘’How have you been?’’
‘’I have been fine.’’
‘’And how’s the baby?’’
She sh0ts me a serious look, ‘’what baby?’’
‘’I know that you are pregnant.’’
‘’The baby is fine,’’ she says. Her tone is cold.
I signal for the waiter and he walks to our table then we order our food.
‘’I nee-d you to be honest with me Wendy.’’
‘’About?’’
‘’Is that child mine?’’
She looks at me and asks, ‘and what makes you think that the child is yours?’’
‘’We had S-x or has that little fact escaped you?’’
‘’I know we had S-x but that doesn’t make this child yours.’’
‘’How sure are you?’’
‘’Only a mother knows her child’s real father or has that little fact escaped you?’’
I laugh, ‘’you are pla-ying with me right?’’
‘’No I am not.’’
‘’So what are you saying?’’
‘’The child I am carrying is my husband’s.’’
‘’Oh.’’
‘’What exactly do you want from me Mike?’’
‘’I miss you.’’
‘’Okay.’’
‘’Okay?’’
‘’What do you want me to say?’’
‘’Is there a chance of rekindling what we once shared?’’
The waiter walks back to us and places the food on the table.
‘’I have been thinking over the past three months.’’
‘’About?’’
‘’About me, Jason and about us.’’
‘’I am all ears.’’
‘’Jason wasn’t perfect, he cheated on me with several women most of whom I c@m£ to know after his death. Before I married him, I saw the signs but I went ahead and married him still. I thought he would change but he bec@m£ worse and I know I should have left but I didn’t, it was my decision to stay with Jason despite his behavior—,’’
‘’And where are you going with this?’’ I cut her off.
‘’I should have left but I stayed and then you c@m£ along, you treated me differently and you gave me hope and I felt like I had arrived but you know what?
‘’What?’’
‘’I regret cheating on my husband with you.’’
‘’What?’’
‘’Because when I cheated I bec@m£ exactly like him, the best way would have been for me to walk out and then try to find myself instead of finding solace in your arms.’’
‘’Wendy,’’ I hold her hand.
‘’And now to answer your question, there is no chance of rekindling what we once shared,’’ she says and her words crash me, I can feel my heart race.
‘’Why?’’
‘’I cheated on my husband with you, don’t you think I will easily cheat on you with someone else when the going gets tough?’’ she asks
‘’I don’t think you would ever do that to me.’’
‘’Why?’’
‘’Because what we share is real.’’
She shakes her head, ‘’we were just caught up in the moment, I don’t think we thought things throu-gh.’’
‘’I did.’’
‘’I remind you of Sarah, that’s why you were attra-cted to me, would you have even liked me if I didn’t look like her?’’ she asks
I open my mouth to respond but I shut it again, I don’t know what to say.
‘’Right now I want to find myself, I want to get help, I want to heal and I want to boast my self-esteem. I can’t do that with you in the picture.’’
‘’So this is it?’’
‘’Yes, I am sorry I lead you on but this is as far as I can go with you.’’
‘’And the baby?’’
‘’I am convinced that the baby is Jason’s but for your sake, I will agree to a DNA test once the baby is born and if he is yours, I won’t keep him from you.’’
‘’Thank you.’’
‘’Can we at least be friends?’’
‘’Yes.’’
‘’Cool,’’ I smile even though my heart is aching.
I was hoping we could get back and live happily ever after like they do in movies but I guess this is my reality and I have to face it.
Well this is how life works you don’t always end up with the person your heart chooses.
***
It breaks my heart to do this but i know I don’t nee-d a man at this moment. What I nee-d to do is face my issues and accept that I nee-d help. I am tired of trying to prove my worth to my dead mother-I won’t do it anymore.
I nee-d to be whole and complete for the twins and the child I am carrying, they deserve to have an emotionally stable mother, I refuse to walk in my mother’s footsteps, I refuse to raise my children like she raised me, I am breaking the cycle.
After we finish eating, Jason pays the bill and we walk out of the restaurant then he walks me to my car. At my car, he holds my hand and intently looks at me.
‘’Í wish you healing and peace and I hope you find yourself,’’ he says.
‘’Thank you.’’
Next he pu-lls me into his arms and hvgs me ti-ghtly to him as if his life depends on it. Then he brings his mouth down to mine and k!sses me de-eply.
‘’Goodbye,’’ he says.
‘’Goodbye.’’
He opens the door for me and I slid into the driver’s seat, then he closes he slams the door shut. I wave at him before I start the car and drive off without looking back.
And at this point I am never looking back and I will no longer hold on to the things of the past, instead I will be the change I want to see.
My name is Wendy and this has been my story!
END!!!
CRUEL-INTENTIONS
-EPILOGUE-
3 years later
‘’In any given moment, we have two options- to step forward into growth or back into safety. Change your life by stepping forward and healing.’’
‘’Grace! Faith! Hurry up, you guys are gonna be late for school,’’ I scream.
‘’We are coming mummy!’’ they respond in unison.
‘’They are always late,’’ Quinn rolls his eyes.
I look at Quinn and I smile, with each pas-sing day he looks more like his father.
The twins rush into the room a few minutes later, they are dressed up and re-ady for school. They are always late no matter how early I wake them up.
‘’Quinn and I are re-ady are to leave so you better be quic-k,’’ I say handing them their lunch boxes as they settle to have their breakfast.
‘’You guys nee-d to hurry up I don’t want to be late for school,’’ Quinn says.
‘’You just want to show off your new bag,’’ Faith says.
‘’I know right,’’ Grace adds.
‘’Mummy! Your daughters are fighting,’’ He whines and i bur-st out laughing.
‘’You two, leave my son alone,’’ Jacey says walking into the room.
‘’Auntie Jacey,’’ Quinn runs towards her and she picks him up, wra-pping her hands around him, he giggles. These two are inseparable, you should how Jacey spoils Quinn, I think she sees Jason in him, well we all do- the resemblance is uncanny.
‘’re-ady for school?’’ she asks.
‘’Yes,’’ he smiles.
‘’Have you packed your homework book?’’
‘’Yes.’’
‘’Good boy.’’
‘’Mummy we are done,’’ the twins rise to their feet.
‘’Time to go.’’
Jacey k!sses Quinn’s forehead, ‘’Have a great day my boy.’’
‘’Thank you auntie.’’
‘’And you two,’’ she points at the twins, ‘’No fighting in school.’’
‘’Yes auntie,’’ they respond before they rush out of the house.
‘’See you later J,’’ I say.
‘’Thanks, have a great day.’’
I hold Quinn’s hand and we walk out to where my car is. The girls are alre-ady settled into the car, I put Quinn into the car before I put on his seat belt.
Then I get into the car and drive towards their school. The ride to school is noisy as usual, the girls are arguing about their homework while Quinn is loudly counting.
Forty five minutes later, I pu-ll up into their school and park the car before getting out. I open the door for the kids and they all get out of the car.
‘’Thanks for the ride mummy,’’ Faith says.
‘’You are welcome, have a great day.’’
I k!ssthem all on their foreheads before Grace holds Quinn’s hands and walks to the entrance door. I watch them for a few minutes before I get back into my car and drive for work.
‘’Morning madam!’’ My secretary greets when I get to work.
‘’Hey morning,’’ I respond before I get into my office.
She walks into my office a couple of minutes later with my cu-p of coffee and places it on the table. Then we go throu-gh my schedule for the day.
After she leaves my office, I turn on my computer and start reviewing the minutes for the meeting that the sales dep@rtment had yesterday.
**
What a whirlwind the past three years have been, so much healing and growth.
The process has been a period of pain and truth. And it has also been very challenging but I am glad I didn’t give up because it was worth it. At this moment in my life, I feel so relieved and content. It feels like I un-derwent total restoration, I even forgave my mother, forgiving her was ha-rd but when I eventually did forgive her, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I felt so free.
My life isn’t perfect but I wake up each day determined to make things work for my good. I have this whole vibe of positivity that is ru-bbing off even on my children. I tell everyday how much I love them and when they do good things, I applaud them.
And speaking of my children, the minute I saw Quinn I knew he was Jason’s but we did the DNA test anyway so Mike could be at peace.
When the results were out, it showed that I was actually right, Quinn wasn’t his child. You should have seen how devastated Mike was when he saw the results, he had wanted the child to be his but I was happy with the results.
I am glad Quinn is Jason’s child, what Mike and I shared back then was just a fling, I wouldn’t have wanted to tie him down to me because of a child.
Mike and I rarely talk but what I know is that he has someone in his life and they are getting married in a few months’ time, I am so glad he found love.
Meanwhile, I haven’t opened my heart to love again but when I decide to be with someone I will have to thor0ûghly think things throu-gh because this isn’t about me but the kids too so I am taking as much time as I can.
Currently I am content with the way things are moving in my life.
My kids keep me sane and happy with them by my side I know I can boldly face anything. ****
Ends!!!