Have you ever had the chance to listen to Sean Kingston and Nicki Minaj’s ‘Born To Be Wild’? Anyway, I had it on my playlist and would listen to it almost all the time. Sean, Nicki and I shared something mutual, we were all born to be something. They were born to be wild while I was born to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, a green snake in green grass, a lunatic, a heartless b—h! Call me all sorts of names and I’ll gladly accept them.
I was born to be envious of other people and hate them. The gene had always been in me even though it might have been recessive to the gene of playing kind hearted girl. But the combination did come in handy, really.
Growing up, mum had noticed the evil in me.
“Your father doesn’t love your sister Angie more than he does you, it’s just that your behaviour drives him away. You’re too envious of Angie, Lubona. Jealousy is written all over your face everytime you look at her.”
“Whatever, mother. Just let me be ai? After all we all know I’m the black sheep of the family despite me being barely 13 years old. It’s obvious Angie’s more intelligent than I am, she’s more beautiful than me, everyone adores her while they sideline me, the ugly duckling of the Habeenzu family.”
“Don’t talk like that,” said Mum in a motherly tone, cuddling me. “Both you and Angie are our precious gems and your father and I love you equally, don’t ever doubt that.”
‘Yeah right! And you expect me to buy that shit?’ I wanted to scoff but I instead just kept quiet.
I met Alicia and Monde in grade 8 during my secondary education. We instantly clicked and became friends.
And then came the envy I was telling you about. I was now more envious of Alicia than I was of my own sister. I so much wanted to be in Alicia’s skin that if people would exchange bodies, I’d gladly exchange mine with Alicia’s.
More drama, Bob came into the picture and he just had to fall for that stupid Alicia. The dude was a hunk and I had been drooling over him since the first day I led eyes on him and he just had to pick Alicia, of all people.
“Come off it,” Monde playfully hit the back of my head one day. She had caught me erotically eyeing Bob who stood at a distance, Alicia in his embrace. “Lubona, forget the guy already. He only has eyes for Alicia.”
“He’s handsome and it isn’t a crime to gaze at and admire God’s handiwork, is it now?”
“No, but I don’t like the way you always stare at him. It’s like you picture him to be a bar of chocolate or something.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re speaking for yourself?”
“Oh please,” Monde dramatically exasperated. “Bob’s too corny for my liking.”
“That’s because you like uptight guys who are always wearing serious faces,” I teased. “Jesus, I wonder how you manage to handle them in bed. I bet they still frown even when they are hitting ejaculation.”
We burst out laughing. “You’re crazy, Lubona.”
I became crazy when mum died and I fell pregnant out of wedlock three years later. I was only 18 by then.
“You can’t possibly have this child,” Dad had sternly said. “You are getting rid of it and that’s final.”
“I think Dad has a point,” said Angie when she came to my room later that evening. “Sis, this child will just ruin your future as it’ll bring forth more harm than good. I think the best option is to terminate the pregnancy.”
And that’s how I ended up having an abortion and guess what, the process rendered me childless for life but I didn’t find out right there and then, it took years for me to do so.
So Alicia now had a child with Bob and they got married a couple of years later. I wasn’t happy about this not in the least way possible but I still had to play the perfect best friend cause I was so good in that department.
And then something came up and Bob was now going out with my sister. This came as a shock to me, believe me.
But being snoopy, I found out it was all Dad’s bidding. I had hated Dad ever since I was young and him rooting for Angie to get married to Bob made me even loathe him more but I had to keep cool lest I blow my cover.
On the brighter side, I was really happy Alicia and Bob were going on separation for good. If I couldn’t have him, neither could she.
Bob took Angie and Fred to Kenya with him and I was over the moon. I mean, at least things were happening.
Well Alicia’s grievance for her son was short-lived as her stupid sister Lisa just had to give birth to the brat Faides and then die, leaving Faides in Alicia’s care. Like seriously, who does that?
Anyway, that didn’t matter. What mattered was I knew where Bob and my sister were all along and yet I didn’t tell Alicia. Goodness me, there was no way I was telling her. Why would I do that when I felt so good and content whenever Alicia was crying over her son’s whereabouts and how he was doing, blah blah blah.
So Alicia moved to Lusaka and I remained in Mufulira, alone. Monde and Dad were now in Lusaka too.
Being into fashion and all, I didn’t want to get married but still wanted to have a child so I embarked on an adventure to fall pregnant out of wedlock once again but this time I had plans to keep the child all to myself. But guess what, fate had something else in store for me. After years of trying to get pregnant and not achieving my goal, I finally paid a medical doctor a visit and got tested.
“What’s wrong with me, doc?”
His somber expression spoke volumes that I felt tears begin to well in the corner of my eyes.
“I can’t have children, can I? Huh doctor? Please say something!”
“You’ve ever had an abortion?” asked the doctor without preamble.
“I’m sorry but that abortion rendered you childless. Medically speaking, you can never have children.”
I went home and cried myself to sleep that night. It was then that I realized my life was empty and meaningless. It was then that the thirst for revenge and blood gripped me so hard.
I decided to pay my Dad a visit and wanted to confront him but what would that change? Only killing him would make me feel satisfied so yeah, I arranged for him to get poisoned and behold, he was dead before I knew it.
Daddy’s dead, check.
Angie’s next on the list.
I knew Angie would come for the funeral and then I’d kill her and make her pay for stealing my parents’ affection from me. Call me insane but I had no ounce of guilt for killing my father so I knew Angie would be easy to take out of the picture too.
After Dad was found dead in his office, I went over to Alicia’s to go shed crocodile tears. I softly knocked on the door and lo and behold, her son Fred just had to open the door!
How did I know he was Fred? Well Angie and I had been in contact all along and being naive, she’d trusted me with so much information. Information like Fred getting a new face, him going to bed with her and him stealing money from Bob and then later running away from home.
“Send me the pictures of his new face,” I had told Angie after she’d informed me her twins were now dead and Fred had undergone plastic surgery.
Angie hadn’t even hesitated. “Right away, sis.”
“He’s cute,” I had commented aloud.
“Yeah right but he’s only a minor.”
She’d been sending me pics of him since then so there was no way I was forgetting how he looked. But what was he doing at Alicia’s place? OMG, had they reunited?
“How may I help you?” Fred asked, zoning me out of my reverie.
“Is Alicia in?”
“Aunt Alicia? She’s over at uncle Curtis’, that’s where she spent the night.”
I could see how uncomfortable Fred was. It’s obvious he recognized me even though he had only been seven the last time we’d seen one another.
“Oh, I’m Lubona, Alicia’s best friend from Mufulira. I’ve never seen you around here, what are you called?”
“Logan,” the boy lied through his teeth and I couldn’t be more relieved. This meant Alicia still didn’t know he was her son. In fact I was certain she didn’t because if she did, she would have told me by now. Trust Alicia to be that chatty.
Logan allowed me into the living room where Mulenga offered me a glass of water. As I stole glances at Fred, Angie’s words replayed in my mind. “Lubona, I’m doomed.”
“Why would you say such a thing, little sis?”
“Because I’m carrying Fred’s baby, isn’t that insane?”
“Not really. It’ll only get insane once you go around blurting out to everyone Fred’s the father.”
“You know there’s no way I’m doing that.”
“There, relax and stop stressing yourself. You know that’s not good for the baby.”
And now seated in Alicia’s house with her son within my reach, I couldn’t help but smirk.
Thanks to my cunning mind, a scheme for the perfect murder had just popped up in my mind, I now had someone to frame. Could life get any better?
I excused myself and headed towards the bathroom. On my way back, I did a detour and went into the guest room which I guessed was where Logan or Fred was sleeping and I was right, the clothes in the wardrobe told me so. I went to the dresser and stole his comb, hiding it in my clutch. I left his room unnoticed.
Angie’s murder was simple. It was only her and I in the house that night and I used this to my advantage. I snuck into her room somewhere around 11 PM and got a pillow which was beside Angie’s dumb head. She was fast asleep and I smiled maliciously as I placed the pillow against her face and pressed it downwards. She struggled and struggled but I overpowered her and within minutes, she lay still like a log.
I tossed the pillow aside and let out an evil laugh.
“And the b—h is dead, just like that. It’s time to get to work now, Lulu babe.” I loudly said, undressing Angie. I made sure I was wearing surgical gloves cause I couldn’t risk getting caught.
After I had undressed Angie, I went to the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife. I then went back to the bedroom and had fun drawing random patterns on Angie’s torso.
Since I had all this meticulously planned out, I then slid Angie’s corpse into a body bag for easier transportation.
With so much difficulty, I managed to drag the corpse to my car and then drive it to Alicia’s place. I had initial plans of dumping the body outside Alicia’s yard but when I tried the gate and it budged, I dragged the body to Alicia’s veranda instead. Where I got the strength to do so, I don’t know but I still managed. Don’t argue cause none of you were though ai and neither of you helped me with the dragging of the heavy goddamn body!
It was then that I decided to pull my final string. I unzipped the body bag and tossed the corpse on the veranda and then later placed strands of Fred’s hair on one of the many wounds I had inflicted on Angie.
As I said, this was a perfect murder. On my way home, I used Angie’s phone to give Fred a call. Getting his line was one of the simplest things I had to do so yeah, I had it.
Fred picked up after a few rings.
He kept on talking but I hang up on him without saying a word.
I didn’t sleep an ounce that night as I had cleaning to do. Scrubbing Angie’s blood off the tiles of the bedroom floor, burning the covers she’d lain on and the body bag, getting rid of her phone, etc.
The following day, I gave the police an anonymous call and informed them Angie had been carrying Fred’s baby.
Four months on, everything was going according to plan and Fred was even sentenced to death. I seriously needed a pat on the back for pulling such a stunt so perfectly that nobody even suspected me of being the real murderer.
At least that’s what I thought until Bob turned up at my house one evening, asking all these questions about my late father. I knew right there and then something was amiss so as soon as Bob left, I followed him and grabbed a log whilst I was at it. Lo and behold, Bob just had to confirm my suspicions by giving Alicia a call and telling her he knew who the culprit was. I reacted before he could even utter my name and poom, he lay unconscious at my feet. I glanced around the street and smiled when I noticed nobody had witnessed me hitting Bob. Well, he was in my way so I had plans of killing him too and then Alicia would follow on my to do list. I couldn’t risk getting caught and spending the rest of my life behind bars, no way! So I was willing to go to extreme lengths just to keep myself from getting locked up, even if this meant killing two more people.