🌹🌹🌹🌹LOVE ME WITHOUT LIES🌹🌹🌹🌹
🎼🎼Lie to me
If the truth will break my heart o🎼
It couldn’t be.
It can’t be.
I haven’t seen him in over two years.
I searched high and low for him through a private detective, though I didn’t let the kids know.
And now here he is, right when I was just getting used to the idea of letting him go forever.
The idea that he ran off with one of his scandalous affairs.
Edward is my soul mate or so I thought.
We were together since our junior year of high school.
The typical high school romance story.
Our parents thought it would be a great opportunity to merge the businesses since my father had no male heir to take over from him and I didn’t want to fully run such a large corporation.
Our marriage right out of high school came as a great convenience to them.
We both went off to college together.
He was the most attentive and affectionate man ever.
He had loved me something fierce back then.
Then I had Daniel, Daniella and Dennison.
He loved them all, but Daniela being the only girl, and a daddy’s girl, became his pride and joy.
He was never the same after she died.
I knew that one day he would do something to get in serious trouble but I just never knew what.
Now he sits before me in handcuffs and a prison jumpsuit.
I’m still in disbelief that this is what our life has come to.
The last time I saw him was when we decided to separate legally for a period of time but he never came back.
It was right before Richard took over, and he was involved in some scandal with prostitutes.
The stock hit rock bottom, investors were all backing out and no one wanted anything to do with a company whose CEO was spending all the earnings frivolously, and even worst on prostitutes.
It took Richard a lot of work to earn his place back at the top, I was there with him, it wasn’t easy.
A lot of doors were slammed in his faces and called ignored or abruptly ended.
But that didn’t stop him.
At one point he was about to accept defeat.
He left and weeks later he returned with Andrea.
I saw the effect that a child and the corporation were were having on him, I told him he was allowed to give it up, no one would be mad at him.
Instead he looked at me and said
“not now, not ever. I have come too far. I am not my father and it’s about time people start to understand that.”
Six months later and most of the company’s affiliated with Edward were back in swing.
All of which could have been avoided if Edwards was faithful.
I wanted to leave him but like always, I was a fool with a burning candle.
I held out hope, especially after Richard was born that another child would help, but it always seemed to pain him to be at home.
I saw it when he looked at the boys.
When he looked at me.
The memories that haunted him.
But where has he been for over two years?
He surely couldn’t have been in prison this entire time.
If he had the media would have took wind of it and even though he is no longer the head of all the corporations combined, the companies would have experienced a crisis with the stock just because of Richard’s affiliation to him, as well as myself.
He took care of that as well didn’t he?
Because as far as I know, no one knows where Edward is.
There are just too many questions.
“Edward, what is going on? What did you do?” I asked.
“Oh I don’t know if I should answer that Ellie. It seems my son has already pulled one too many tricks on me, I don’t know if this is some ploy to get me to confess to some bullshit but I refuse to speak without my lawyer present.”
I took a deep breath.
I turned to Richard who was at the other end of the table sitting next to Ariana.
“Richard, can you please explain what’s going on, why your father is here and why you brought us here.?” I asked him
He looks at his father as he responds.
“He is no father of mine, he’s a monster.” He hissed.
“Richard he will always be your father no matter what, you cannot change your DNA” I scold him.
“Father?” He yelled questioningly.
“Since everyone wants to know the truth so bad then let me start at the beginning, when I was thirteen and he started to the beat the shit out of me.” He looked at me as I gasped.
It can’t be true.
I know Edward started to develop a drinking problem and most times he wouldn’t come home.
But when he did, he was always throwing or smashing thing, but he never hit me.
I never ever in my mind thought he would hit his own kids.
But he was hitting our son.
This can’t be true, how could I have not seen it or rather yet, how was I so blind to it.
“All those injuries you claimed you got from playing football? All the fights you would claim to have gotten in? All those times I put bandages on you, worried about your bruises, took you to the ER for a sprain or broken bone? Are you telling me it was all your fathers doing?” I just cannot comprehend this.
If he says yes then this is forever going to kill me, all the night I laid in bed with Edward, stayed married to him and kept the kids nears him, he was abusing them?
I was happy and oblivious and my child was suffering.
I don’t even know what to do.
No One can possibly fathom the pain I’m feeling.
He doesn’t answer and I see his jaw clench as he stared at his father.
“Richard?” I whisper, wanting an answer.
I need to know.
He took a minute but then looked at me.
He closed his eyes tightly and took a deep breath.
I could see him struggling to control himself.
He opened back his eyes and looked me in mine and it was then I saw the look that he wore back when he was a teenager, I could see the vulnerability and hurt in his eyes, the pain.
I didn’t need him to answer anymore, that said it all.
I have become so familiar with that look but misread it.
It wasn’t just him going through some rebellious stage and not wanting to tell his mother what was going on, it was a broken child, hiding his suffering.
“Oh god!” I cover my mouth.
I want to scream.
As the tears run down my face, I think of an object I can use to dissect Edward like a frog.
“Richard, why didn’t you tell me? I would have protected you? I would have kept you safe, it was my responsibility to keep you safe.”
I turned back to Edward.
“It was your responsibility to keep him safe!” I yelled at him.
He just sat there with arms crossed watching us.
His face was blank.
I just wanted to chuck my damn chair at his face.
Richard interrupted my violent thoughts.
“I wish I could have told you mom, I didn’t tell you to protect you, I just couldn’t see you hurt, so I took the hurt for you. I love you mom, and I don’t know if I could have lived with myself if anything happened to you. Daniel and Dennis were hardly ever home because they were either at football practice, camp, their friends house or some party. I had to be the one to protect you.” He explained.
I don’t understand. What does he mean he was protecting me.
“What do you mean protect me, I’m suppose to protect you!” I exclaimed.
“Mom, it was never me that he meant to take his anger out on, it was always you. The first time it started I heard him come home, you weren’t there. He was yelling you name and smashing stuff. He said it was your fault, all your fault and you needed to pay. I didn’t know what he thought was your fault. He was walking throughout the house yelling for you. I peeked my head out of my room and saw him take his belt off. I didn’t know what to do and I knew you would be home shortly because you had just went to the grocery store. He didn’t stop, he kept going, I panicked and confronted him. He got mad at me and punched me in the face. I fell and then he put his foot on my back pressing me to the ground and welted my back with the belt ” screaming, it was all your fault, I lost her and it was all your fault.” I didn’t know what he was talking about but he kept hitting me any and everywhere he could until he was tired. He then dropped the belt and I laid in place out of fear of angering him even more and also because I felt like my body was on fire. I then heard your bedroom door slam and knew then that he was gone. I didn’t want to get up, I felt I couldn’t but I had to. I didn’t want you to see me like that. I crawled until I could stand. I went to my room and locked myself in. When you came home I refused to open the door, you thought it was just having an attitude and went away. I tried to get up and make sure he didn’t do the same to you but after I got to my room my body gave out. I listened and prayed that he would either be too tired or already passed out to harm you. I listened for hours but never heard anything. I then figured out that if he got to me first and took out all his anger on me, then he wouldn’t harm you. So it continued like that, him beating me with whatever he could find, until I we moved to south Carolina when I was sixteen. He settled for beating me, and I thought as long as he never touches you, it was fine with me.” He recanted the past.
I sat there shocked.
The next thing I know the chair I am sitting in is in my hand and Edward is scrambling to get under the table.
If Daniel hadn’t stopped me, I promise you, the four legs of this chair would have been imprinted on his body.
“Mom stop! Its all over now, I’m fine, its fine!” Richard told me, moving Daniel out the of the way and embracing my hysterically crying self.
I held onto him for dear life and cried.
I cried for the children I didn’t protect, the children I didn’t keep safe.
I cried for Richard and Daniela.
“It’s not fine Richard. You’re not fine. It was never fine and will never be. I didn’t protect you, I didn’t keep you safe. I failed as a mother. I failed you, both you and your sister.” I mumbled as the once happy world as I knew it crumbled to my feet.
I would have crumbled with it as well if richard wasn’t holding me.
I’m a failure!
I cry harder at the thought.
I don’t know if there is any coming back from this.
One child died and another is ruined.
Richard logical thinking is clearly out of whack if he thinks he should always keep secrets because it protects the ones he love.
I see it all started with his father.
Oh my sweet innocent angel, sacrificed himself over and over to protect me.
Only it wasn’t his job.
He was just a child.
I knew Edward needed help, trust me I tried taking him to counseling sessions and so much more but he would never open up.
He was clearly a disaster waiting to happen.
A disaster that did happen.
The only thing was I didn’t see all the effects, it was like a hurricane affecting a country, but only being able to see what was happening around you instead of the entire country.
I dont know.
There is just no explanation to justify what happened.
I failed as a mother and Edward failed as a father.
I remember a day when I came home after visiting my mother in South Carolina before she became sick and we moved there to take care of her.
The day I came home after the trip, I went to check on richard. Daniel and dennis were at football camp.
I knocked on his door and tried the knob after getting no answer. In walked into his room, and didn’t see him.
I was about to leave until I realized the light was on in his ensuite bathroom. I walked to the door and look at him horridly. He was trying to clean some cuts on his back. His face was busted, his eye swollen shut and his back bloody and him cleaning the many cuts.
When I asked him what happened he had told me
“I got into a fight with the school bully and fell. The glasses on the table in the cafeteria fell when I bumped the table in our tussle and I fell on them.” I had demanded to know the name of the child he fought with to report this to the school but he told me, he was the one who started the fight.
Now that I think about it.
Why was he never suspended?
why didn’t the school nurse see to him?
why was I never called to the office?
The signs were clearly there.
Like I said I’m such a terrible mother.
Richard let me go and I see Edward is now back in his chair.
I pick up my phone before anyone could realize and throw it as hard as I could and nabbing him smack in the eye.
Damn I was aiming for his teeth and hoping he would swallow them and die.
“Arrghhh!” He yelled holding his eye.
There was blood coming from a cut on his eyebrow.
The guard came over and started talking to Richard, who I assumed told him it was fine over here since he walked back out the room.
“Why would you do that Elena?” Edward asked wiping away the blood with the wrist of his shirt.
“Just be glad you’re in prison already or I’m damn sure I would be in here myself for premeditated cold blooded murder. I don’t even know what you did to be here right now, but you’ve already done enough in my eyes, I hope you never get out. And if you do, you better watch your back because I will be coming for you. That’s not a threat, it’s a promise. I swear on my daughters grave.Are we done here Richard?” I can’t stand to look at this despicable creature before me anymore.
There is no way he could possibly be human. And to think I married him.
The devil is a liar and he can have his minion back!
I can’t be here anymore.
It hurts just to look at either one of them, to see how much I failed my children.
Dennis hands me back my phone and I look at it to see the screen cracked.
Damn tough eyed bastard broke my phone.
I sit back down as Ariana who has tears in her eyes, hold my hand pulling me back to have a seat as she rubs my back supportively.
My entire marriage and livelihood has been a li
I’m at all loss.
I can’t even formulate a straight thought.
My father is in front of me, in prison, cuffed and shackled, in a jumpsuit.
Richard is rehashing how much he suffered and protected mom, while Dennis and I stayed away from home partying and hanging at our friend’s house to avoid dad.
I knew he was getting into fights and when Dennis and I offered to visit his middle school and give the kids who were bothering him a high school beat down, he always claimed to have been the one starting the fights.
We all just thought he was going through a rebellious stage.
Now I learn that it was our own father that was hurting him and the hurt was actually intended for mom.
I look at mom and she looks beyond crushed.
Who wouldn’t be?
Damn this whole thing is just fucked up.
I want to kill the son of a b*tch myself.
Mom looks ready to go but I need to know why he’s here and how is Camila involved into all of this.
Seems she has a bigger role than I thought.
“Bro I’m so sorry we weren’t here for you. If I had know….” Dennis was telling Richard.
“But you didn’t know. I don’t blame anyone but him.” Richard cut him off.
“But still we’re your older brother’s, we should have been there to protect you and mom.” I piped in.
I look at the man I knew as dad up until today.
Now he is Edward, no longer dad or father, he doesn’t deserve it.
He hadn’t said much apart from complaining about his eye.
Thanks to mom, he was now only using one eye as the other seemed to have been swollen shut with all the blood from his eyebrow drying around it.
We were all just sitting there looking at him in disbelief still being rocked by Richard’s declaration. While Richard and Ariana were having a quiet conversation between themselves.
Boy was he holding secret.
Some hell of a secret.
And he still has more.
Bless his heart, it’s just too much for one man.
As soon as they are finished I ask the next question that has been plaguing everyone’s mind.
“Richard I suppose there is more to the story. You said Camila is not your wife, you were in Germany with her and dad is here. I am not connecting the dots as it still doesn’t make sense in my mind. First off if she’s not your wife then why was she being called Anderson at the hospital?” I asked puzzled as I I’ve ever been in my whole entire life.
He sighed and grabbed a hold of Ariana hand saying something to her before before turning back to us.
I saw Edward tense up and look away.
Ahh hell what did Edward really do?
“I lied about a lot of things but that was never one. I only lied when I thought it necessary to protect everyone.” He told me.
OK I get that, Richard lies and suffers for the good of seeing everyone happy.
Does he not realize he’s not superman, he’s not invincible?
I get what he’s trying to do but if he doesn’t stop thinking like that, he’s going to blow one day, there is only so much one person can bottle up, just like there is only so much water a bottle can hold before it runs over and make a mess of everything.
Edward is that bottle of water and right now it seems like he’s just leaving puddles everywhere.
“Ok, so she’s not your wife, why is her name Anderson? That what the hospital called her, it doesn’t make sense.” I say once again.
“She’s my daughter.” He declared.
I think everyone’s mouth looks like a fish out of water gasping for air except for Richard and Edward, they seem like the only two who understand what is going on here.
I laughed sarcastically.
“I don’t think this is the time for jokes. That line worked with Andrea, but I think Camila is way too old for that lie.” I told him.
“I’m not lying. She is my daughter, well at least legally she is or was. I adopted her and became her guardian until she was of age.”
“Why would you adopt her? You had sex with a minor? Richard can you please explain, this is getting crazier by the minute.” Ariana finally asked.
“I have never had sex with or will I ever have sex with Camila. Ariana you’re the one I love, you will always be the one I love and the only woman for me, please don’t ever get me misunderstood. I adopted her to prevent her from going into foster care. To give her back some sort of normalcy.” He explain.
What in the world is that suppose to mean.
I want to pull my hair out so bad.
“So if you adopted her and never had s*x with her, then does that mean Andrea is not a Anderson by birth but instead by adoption?” She asked again.
“She is an Anderson by birth.” He stated.
“How can that be when you never had sex with Camila? How can you biologically be the father?” Dennis butt in.
“That’s because he’s not.”
I think everyone’s necks jerked into the direction of Edwards voice at the same time.
“I am!”. He said.
“What! Dad you had sex with a minor.
I think I got it now.
” You raped her!” Dennis accused yelling.
Before I could even pull my mother back for the second time, the chair was already flying across the room, Edward was laid out on the floor and guards were running into the room at the sound of the chair crashing into the wall.
Serves him right.
But we need to get the incredible hulk out of here before she ends up in a striped uniform herself.
Edward was taken to the prison infirmary since my mother knocked him into unconsciousness with the chair.
She was restrained until she calmed down, then ultimately banned from visiting again.
I had already texted the driver to take the kids and Erica back to the hotel after McDonald’s instead of returning here.
As we were escorted out, I had daniel and dennis take mom back to the hotel as well, so that I could have some privacy to talk to Ariana.
I opened the truck door for her and then slid in next to her.
I looked in the rearview mirror and made eye contact with the driver.
“Gruneburgpark” I told him.
I would tell him to just drive until I say stop but it’s nice out, it would be nice to just have some fresh air after everything that was just said.
And since that is the only park I noticed on several occasions when visiting my lawyer and always enjoyed its beauty, I think it would be nice to go for a walk.
The driver nod and took off in that direction.
“Richard where are the kids? Did you let Erica know we were leaving not to return here?” Anna asked.
“Yes, I texted her and the driver while we were still inside. They are fine, I promise. You know I would never let anything happen to them. You and our kids are my world.” I told her.
She looked at me unsure.
“Ok!” She sat back in her seat.
I took her hand in mine, entwine our fingers, laid my head back on the head rest and close my eyes.
I’m so tired.
It wasn’t even a minute later and I felt anna respond to my action by tightening her fingers around mine.
I thought they would have all hated me by now for ruining the memories of the happy life they thought they had.
For pulling the rug from under their feet and the blinds from over their eyes.
It’s easy to believe that the secrets I kept weren’t major ones.
But they are, at least to my family and I.
It’s like me starving for a week and a starving child from Africa tells me I know nothing of struggles because he has been starving for years.
That actually wouldn’t be true.
His struggle may have been way more drastic and severe but it doesn’t make his anymore valid than mine.
Mine was thrown at me out of nowhere, it wasn’t something I had ever dealt with or was used it.
It was drastic enough for me and I dealt with it in the best possible way I thought how to.
Similar to two people who stole something.
Say for instance, one stole his fathers wallet while the other went to great lengths and stole a car.
One was more drastic than the other, but since his was more drastic, does the other stealing a wallet not count as stealing anymore?
A man murdered one person and another man murdered ten.
Can the man who murdered one be discredited as knowing nothing about murdering someone?
No I believe that stealing is stealing, a sin is a sin, and struggles are struggles.
People need not to judge and speak on things they have never been through because looking in from the outside, one will never understand.
It may not have been the right way to handle it.
Had I spoken up then maybe my mother could have helped me, we could have ran away or something.
But fear, once it resides in you, it’s hard to get rid of.
I feared my father getting even angrier at me for telling and killing me.
Who would protect my mother then?
I feared telling my brother’s because what if they confronted him and he harmed them as well?
I didn’t see the point in everyone suffering.
I wanted to tell my mother but what if she confronted him and all that I was trying to protect her from happened?
What if he became so angry and killed her, what then?
What good could that have possibly done?
What if we had ran away?
He was one of the richest man in the country, it would be so easy to find us!
What then, he kills us for leaving him or even worst.
He could have had the entire police department at his fingertips with just one check.
My father knew how to make problems disappear.
He was a ruthless business man before all his shenanigans.
But worst of all, what if my mother didn’t believe me and chose him over him?
That would have broken me more than any beating.
So it wasn’t that I was really trying to play hero.
My thirteen year old mind was just trying to think of the most logical thing to do.
By the time we moved away to South Carolina during their first separation, it was already embedded in my mind that I did the right thing since everyone was happy and ok.
After that, I just didn’t see the need to bring it back up, I wasn’t around him anymore, he had stop drinking and had started to go on long business trips and would be back a day or two before he left again, so he became too busy to have time for us when we would visit and Daniel and Dennis were home.
I opened my eyes and look at anna who seemed to be shuffling around.
She was now sitting with her back to the door facing me.
I leaned forward, bringing my face close to hers. I could now feel her breath on my face as her breathing became more labored.
She licked her lips and parted them slightly.
I press further into her, her eyes fluttered close.
I reach behind her and push the safety lock down on the door before moving back to my seat.
Her eyes open upon realizing my intention and she seemed somewhat upset.
I really wanted to kiss, like so damn bad but I also wanted to respect her boundaries and know where we stand before I upset her.
“So I don’t know how to ask this but I need to know for sure. So I know you claimed to have adopted Camilla, but you two were here in alone for three weeks, are you telling me nothing happened? You’ve never slept with her? Or that nothing has ever happened between the both of you before?” She ask looking me in the eye.
“Well we have slept together twice while we’ve been here and a couple times in the past.” I grab her face with both palms resting on her cheeks before she can turn away.
“It’s not how your thinking, so before you get mad, let me explain. We’ve slept together in a platonic way. It has always started with her waking up and screaming her head off in her sleep and crying. I would wake her up to stop her nightmares, she would beg me not to leave and I would lay with her to calm her so she could sleep. The last time we slept together was the night before the accident. She had a nightmare and was scared to go back to sleep, she climbed into my bed and I held her as she laid her head in my shoulder. I have never been attractive to her and I don’t see her that way. It’s mutual. She looks up to me as though I am her father, except for that one brief time she was on drugs, but that’s a whole other story for another day, but she has no family and I’m the closest thing to a real father that she has ever had. I know I’m only seven years older than her but she’s really like an older daughter/ little sister to me. It has never been anything more and never will be.” I explain to her.
“Mmhh I guess that makes sense considering what she has been through.” She said dryly.
“You don’t believe me?” I asked.
” No, I do. It’s trust, that I just don’t trust you.” She made clear.
“I can’t even begin to understand everything that you went through or even think of what I would have done had it been me. I understand why you kept it a secret, to protect the ones you love. I know Richard, trust me I do. I did the same with you and the triplets, I kept them a secret from you and you a secret from them. Lies were told and in my mind, like yours, they were all done with the intention of doing good no matter what outcome they may have ended up having. So I understand why you did it. But the fact still remains that you continually lied to my face over and over. You looked me in the eyes a lied like it was nothing. I find people like that to be scary, who knows what you may lie about in the future, what they are capable of. I don’t need you to lie to me to protect me, tell me the truth and weather the storm with me if you really want to protect me.”
I process all that she just said.
I never really realized how much I would destroy everyone’s trust by finally telling the truth.
The truth is suppose to be such a good thing but has so many down sides; it hurts.
If you turn “truth” backward “H T U R T” and take out the first “T” it spells hurt.
We arrive at the park and we get out of the truck.
“I just thought we could take a stroll through the park and talk before we head back. I should have asked you but I hope you don’t mind. I just miss you and wanted you to myself for a little while before I give the kids all my attention.” I told her.
“It’s fine. I’ve actually been cooped up in the room for the last two days. This is just what I need and besides, it’s beautiful here.”
” Yeah it is.” I agree.
I take her hand in mine and wait for her reaction.
She doesn’t pull away, so I figure it’s ok.
We walk in silence just taking in the blooming flowers and scenery.
“Do you think I’m a terrible person for lying even though you know why I did it?” I express my thought out loud.
“I’m pregnant!” She stops and blurt out.
Were having another child?
I smile brightly before picking her up and spinning her around.
I then crush her to me and plaster my lips to hers.
My dream is going to come through.
I’m going to get a football team.
I put her back on her feet and beam down on her.
“You’ve just made me the happiest man in the world for the fourth time. I love you so much baby!”
I’m so happy.
“It’s not yours Richard.” She then says.
I looked at her in shock.
The smile falls from my face.
It has to be mine.
Someone please take my heart out of my chest.
It’s beating so fast and hard.
I step back from her.
“Anna what do you mean its not mine?” I whispered.
“I lied, you are the father.” She said.
I let a breath of air out.
“Why would you play around like that. That wasn’t funny, that was a horrible joke, it really hurt me.” I told her.
“That was the point Richard. You asked a question and I simply showed you the answer. It hurts you when I said it wasn’t yours right?” She said and I nod.
“And when I said that I lied and it was, you became mad at me for lying to you but then happy again since you knew the truth, correct?”
I nod again seeing where she’s going with this even though it was a terrible example.
“That is how people feel when you lie to them richard. The truth might piss them off but ultimately it will be in the past and they can move forward and be happy. Lies hurt more that the truth Richard, because they are forever, even after you tell the truth, the lie last because trust is broken and people never forget. Ok? Or was a bad example?”
“No I understand completely.”
“Good! Now let’s go get me some ice cream, croissant and pickles.” She smiled and point to a cafe across the street from where we were standing.
We started to walk towards it but then I grabbed her arm to stop her.
I thought she said it was only an example.
But who orders food like that?
A pregnant woman!
“Wait! Are you really pregnant?”
“Yup!” She said popping the P.
“And this little monkey really wants Ice Cream!” She rubbed her tummy.
A smile is now plastered back on my face as we walk into the cafe.
We find a seat in the corner and I order a cup of coffee while she order a ton of stuff that combined together would give a grown man diarrhea.
As soon as were are served, she digs into her Ice cream and moans as she takes the first mouthful.
I just laugh.
Is this how pregnant women are with moods and cravings?
Well then, I can’t wait to experience it all.
We sit and I drink my coffee while she eats and talks about the kids.
“How far along are you?” I asked.
I never got to experience it all with the triplets but this will be different.
I will be there for her every second of everyday.
“Almost 9 weeks. I found out I was 7 weeks and six days pregnant the day after your -” she stopped.
“After my what?” I push her to go on.
“I found out the day after the accident. I was stressed with hardly hearing from you, then strung out with worry when I heard of the accident, then seeing you in the state you were in and hearing Camila was your wife kind of was the last straw for me I think. I started bleeding in your hospital room. I almost lost the baby, one because it’s already in a life threatening position laying on my cervix and two, all the stress.” She said hesitantly.
“F*ck!” I hissed.
I’m mad at myself.
“Anna I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I’m so damn sorry”
I get up from my chair, turn her chair towards me and kneeled in front of her.
“Anna please forgive me. Please, I didn’t intend to hurt you and our baby. I’m so sorry babe, so so sorry.” I drop my head in her lap feeling too useless to even look at her.
I caused harm to my wife and child. We’ll future wife. Well I don’t even know if that’s possible after what she went through because of me. I ignore my pride and ego, and silently wept for almost killing my child and causing anna emotional and mental damage.
“Richard are you crying?” I feel her hand caressing my scalp.
“No just allergies.” I fake coughed.
Maybe I should have thought about this before.
Now I’m embarrassed, people are staring at me.
But who cares, Ariana is my focus.
I kiss her stomach.
She stood up and pulled me with her.
I wiped any remaining tear away from my face.
Then she hugged me.
She buried her face in my chest and hugged me.
It felt good and I hugged her back.
“Is that why you’ve been sick? The baby?” I asked.
I felt her head shake up and down on my chest.
“Yeah, I couldn’t keep anything down and felt awful but so far today, I’m not sure why, but I feel much better!” She looks at the table and motion to it with her arm.
“This has been my first real meal since then and I don’t feel nauseous.”
Maybe because now Daddy is home.
But I wouldn’t say that out loud.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there to look after you. I know I keep saying sorry but I’m sorry for it all. I hope that one day I can earn your trust back.”
“Richard don’t be ridiculous, how could you have been there for me when you were in a coma, and then after waking up, having your brain monitored. You couldn’t leave the hospital, I don’t blame you for that. Just be the one to tell the truth starting today, instead of having it come out from others, it tends to be worst that way.”
“Ok I promise. Let’s go, I think I need to go and finish the story as much as it’s taking a toll on me. There is still more left to be told.” I told her, dropping enough cash on the table to cover the bill and tip.
I put my arm around her shoulder and we walk back to the car.
We get in and head back to the hotel.
As we pull up outside, I move to open the door but she stopped me.
“Think carefully about your answer to this question. This could make or break whatever we have left between us.”
The smiling Ariana was now gone as she took on a more serious tone.
“Did you get me pregnant on purpose?”
I look out through the window rubbing the back of my neck.
Yeah,the first time we made love in the shower.
The first time really was on purpose, I went into the bathroom to pee and saw her silhouette through the glass door.
She had her back turned, and her head held back as the water cascaded down her body.
I tried to restrain myself as I just stood there watching her.
It’s fair to say my restraint gave out.
I peeled my clothes off, took a condom out my wallet and hopped in the shower with her.
She was surprised but didn’t resist me.
The look in her eyes said she wanted me as much as I wanted her.
In her eyes wasn’t lust that I’d seen reflected in others that I have bedded in the past couple years, it was love.
In that moment, I didn’t see Ariana anymore, I saw my wife, I saw the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
I wanted to see her pregnant with my child.
I wanted it all.
I dropped the open condom and the packet on the shower floor and just inserted myself into her, with no barriers.
I just didn’t see the point of a condom.
With our flesh merged against each other, I made us one.
After that I felt somewhat guilty, guilty for not considering her wishes or respecting that she might not be ready for more kids.
But the thought of her giving me more kids and me being able to experience it all eased my guilt.
The second time we were both caught up and it just happened.
I didn’t use a condom and I came in her, but it wasn’t intentional.
But judging by how far along she is, it’s obvious that all it took was just one time.
“Yes!” I respond.
I deserve anything she says or does right now.
She opened the door and got out.
“Come on, I’m sure the kids have a lot of things they would like to tell you.” She stretched her hand out to me.
This must be pregnancy hormones.
Is she mad or not?
What if she tries to like slam my head in the door.
I mean you never know with women and these mind games they play.
“You’re not mad?” I asked before accepting her hand.
“Oh I’m quite furious. But what’s done is done. As much as I would have liked to be married before I had another child out of wedlock and excelled further in my career, I don’t regret this peanut in my stomach. I already love her. But like I said before, the trust I had for you is ruined.”.
I accepted her hand skeptically and got out the car since she was smiling.
“Her? Were having another girl?”
Well that’s exciting.
“I don’t know yet, it’s still too early to tell, it just feels offensive to refer to our baby as ‘ it’. I hope it’s a girl though. I love Ryan and Ry, but boys have a lot more energy and gives too more trouble.”
As the elevator dinged open I just smiled.
She said “our”!
She said ” our baby girl.”
Maybe I’m reading too much into it but I can’t help but to be hopefully that we will be a family again.
Only this time I want it to be as husband and wife and as my mother puts it “with a village full of kids.”
The top of the chair I threw knocked him out of his chair as it fell into the wall.
He laid there on the ground not moving.
I hope he’s dead.
Maybe I should have thrown my phone into his other eye.
If I can’t kill him, I can at least blind him!
Before I could even reach for the phone, two guards were restraining my arms while Richard spoke with them trying to rectify the situation.
I should cut his hands off too.
Then not only will I have stopped him from using his sinful eyes to look at little girls, but then he would have nothing to touch them with.
Well not if you count his feet, mmhh, I can get rid of those too.
I replay the whole scenario in my head.
I’m very hurt and I can’t control my reactions because never before had I ever expected anything like this.
My husband left me for prostitutes and now to add insult to the wound, he loves little girl.
He’s probably one of those old perverts driving around offering little girls candy.
“The kids are down for their nap except Ryan he’s up watching TV, but I’m sure he’ll fall asleep soon.” Erica said stepping out onto the balcony with me and the boys.
“Thanks babe. I don’t know what I’d ever do without you.” Daniel said and kissed her on the lips.
“No need to thank me. They are my god kids too.”
“And your an amazing god mother, I’m sure you’ll make an even better mother!” Daniel smiled.
Erica went stiff.
Oh oh! Somebody has baby issues and it’s not me.
My eggs dried up a long time ago, no amount of fertilizer could make garden grow.
“So what happened at the prison?” She changed the topic.
Erica seemed to be oblivious as he was still smiling at the thought of her having his babies.
I won’t even get involved, that’s none of my business.
My business is already out of control, no time to be minding other people’s.
Daniel and dennis told her the story starting from the beginning since we entered the prison.
Once he was finished Erica stood up angrily.
“What?” she shrieked.
“You mean she’s not Richard wife? You mean to tell me that Andrea is not his child? Are you seriously telling me that Camilla is his adopted daughter and was raped by his father?” She exclaimed, not being able to believe it all like we did upon first hearing the declarations.
“Yup!” Dennis answered.
“He raped her! Omg! Andrea is a product of rape!” She looked at daniel and dennis.
“She’s your sister and great niece since Camila is your niece!” She then looked at me.
” Andrea is your step daughter and great granddaughter, seeing that Camila is your granddaughter, that would make Andrea Richard’s sister and granddaughter as well. Worst of all, she’s your own father, and Elena, your husband’s rape victim? Nothing will ever be the same again. What’s to happen to Andrea? How do we look at her everyday and not thinking about all the bad and madness that brought her here?” She asked.
She fell back into her chair at the obscureness.
Well when she puts it like that.
We do see like a very messed up bunch.
Very very messed up family.
I didn’t even think about how this would look. Imagine what the public would think.
But if there is one thing I know, I will not allow another child to suffer because of that one eyed monkey I married.
“We don’t!” I made clear.
“We look at her and remember all the good that came from the bad. She is the rainbow after the storm.”
I feel terrible.
I have no idea how Richard kept all of these secrets pent up inside.
His insides must be scratched, battered and bruised just trying to hold them in.
I don’t have to keep it pent up, I voiced it, yet it still feels like I’m being gutted from the inside.
I know I asked for the truth but now I realize I can’t handle it.
“Mom why are you crying?” I look up at the sound of his voice as he walks onto the patio towards me with Ariana hand in his.
He suffered so much trying to protect us all.
I’m surprised he’s not beyond messed up mentally.
“I don’t know what to do! My heart can’t take it. This is just too much. I just don’t know what to do!” I cried.
“Mom what do you mean?” He asked.
“I tried to kill her Richard! Several times, I tried to kill her. Yet she was the victim, she was already suffering and I wanted to kill her.” I officially feel like the worst person alive.
I judged someone unfairly.
I judged her based off my assumption.
She was never given the chance to defend herself and I judged her harshly.
I clearly forgot my logic with her that, I would always consider someone innocent until proven guilty.
So why consider her innocent?
Well, after I witnessed the hurt in Ariana and her almost losing my grandchild, all logical thinking went out the window.
I am beyond ashamed of myself.
“He raped her Richard! A child, and he raped her.” I whispered brokenly, but loud enough for him to hear.
He sighs and pull a chair out for Ariana, before occupying the one next to her.
“Mom you never let me finish at the prison, we got thrown out and then I needed to talk to anna. I just figured I would continue once I got back. But I never got to finish after Dennis did his 1 plus 1 calculation and came up with 25.” He said rubbing his temple.
“What are you saying then? There is more? What more could there possibly be beyond rape?” I yelled standing up.
“He never raped her mother! Dennis assumed wrong.” He said quieting me.
“Oh!” I sat back down.
My legs feeling jelly like.
Now I’m starting to think whatever Edward did was a lot worse than rape.
I shiver under the heat of the sun as chills ran through my body.
Should I stay or should I leave?
To hell with it, I’m staying.
The debate in my mind concluded.
If Richard, as a lone man, had to cart these secret around by himself and keep them, then I as a woman with support should be strong enough to hear them and cope with them.
I sit up straight giving Richard the signal to continue as we all sat waiting.
“Ok, and this time don’t interrupt me so that I can finish.”
We all nod.
“This all started long before I knew about it, but the day it all came tumbling down and the day I got involved was on October 26, 2018, the day Andrea was born, what should have been a happy occasion, was by far, the worst day of my life, the day that still makes me wake up in cold sweat, the day that still makes camila scared to sleep at nights or her screaming bloody murder in her sleep. It’s the day that I spent a chunk of my inheritance from granddad paying of people in attempt to erase. It’s the day I wanted to never repeat again, but now it seems I have no choice.” He took a deep breath.
The pep that I just gave myself is no longer working.
I can’t do this.
I got up to make a run for the hill.