♠️♠️♠️LOVE ME WITHOUT LIES♠️♠️♠️
🎼🎼Feeling my way throu-gh the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can’t tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
They tell me I’m too young to un-derstand
They say I’m caught up in a dream
Well life will pas-s me by if I don’t open up my eyes
Well that’s fine by me
So wake me up when it’s all over
When I’m wiser and I’m older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn’t know I was lost🎼
♦️♦️ Dennis P.O.V.♦️♦️
It’s been 4 days since we arrived in Frankfurt, Germany, learned of Richa-rd ‘s comatose state and his married life.
Oh and did I mention that my mother tried to kill Richa-rd ‘s wife?
I knew she would have been angry when she found out about his marriage but I must admit that I have never seen my mother that enraged before.
She had stormed into Camilla’s room with eyes blazing and steam coming from her nostrils.
I was scared to say the least, as much as I thought Camilla was beautifully broken and wanted to help her, she was alre-ady half dead, so I just silently backed myself in the corner out of my mother’s eyes to save my own a*s from her fury. She was alre-ady looking me as if to say “what are you doing sitting by her be-d”! So I moved away as fast as I could.
Blah blah, I know it was messed up but this is Richa-rd mess to clean up, not mine.
As much as I would have liked to help her, she was really half dead, the doctors said there hadn’t been any br@in activity, the total opposite of Richa-rd , who moved his right arm twice two days after the accident.
Anyways, when my mother started to advance towards Camilla, I simply backed so far into the corner, that it wasn’t until I heard Daniel’s voice yelling at mom that she couldn’t choke Camila to death, that I opened my eyes, only to find that I had unconsciously hid myself behind the curtains in the far corner.
I straightened up when I caught Daniel prying our mothers hands from around Camilla’s n£¢k and glancing at me accusingly.
As soon as he had expelled her grip, he pu-ll-ed her to him, hvgging her to his che-st, ru-bbing her back reas-suringly try to calm her down.
He then glared at me.
“Why didn’t you do something? Mother is over here killing the poor girl and you do nothing? Were you really hiding Dennis?” He snapped.
“Me? Hide? Never! I was simply not trying not to make myself an accessory or conspirator to murder. The less I saw, the better, so I just figured I would look out the window!” I lied trying my best to sound convincing.
“Sure. I’m sure you didn’t go running scared like you always did when we were younger and mom c@m£ looking for you with anger etched across her face for all the schemes you pu-ll-ed!” He laughed while still ru-bbing our mother’s back.
“You thought she was going to whoop your a*s didn’t you?”
What’s the point of lying to him, he alre-ady knows the truth, the only person I’m scared of is our mom. She scared me for life, even though I can’t blame her.
I was much like Ryder growing up, but even worst. I never opted to be bad, I would try so ha-rd to be good, but trouble just always found me.
Like the day I really nee-ded to pee and my teacher wouldn’t let me go to the restroom because she claimed I only liked to pl@yin the halls and make noise. So I pissed myself in my seat. She wasn’t very happy with me and neither was my mother.
But hey, I was only 7, I did ask to pee trying to avoid trouble but trouble found me, well pee found me. Pee, trouble, same thing damn thing.
Or like the time when I was 10 and minding my own business, deciding to feed my hunger. I got in my mothers new Mercedes and decided to take myself because I was really hungry for McDonalds and the lazy nanny wouldn’t take me. So I drove myself, Daniel thought it was a bad idea and refused to come but I was merely helping myself, considering I was tall enough to see a bit over the wheel. It was all fine until I drove out of the garage, I would have liked to say I made it out of our driveway, or even to McDonald’s but like I said, trouble always found me. I was driving out the driveway and somehow the water fountain of trouble found me.
“Stupid water fountain, couldn’t mind its business, got me in trouble.” I grumbled un-der my breath rolling my eyes remembering the beating of a lifetime.
I looked up when I heard my mother’s laughter.
Both her and Daniel were laughing and looking at me.
I guess I wasn’t as quiet as I thought.
“It’s not funny mom, that stupid water fountain ruined my life!”
“Really dennis? Even till this day you still refuse to admit that you didn’t drive my br@nd new mercedes into the water fountain? Are you still sticking to your sorry excuse that the water fountain put itself in your way on purpose? The same water fountain that has been in the front entrance since before you were born? Let’s not even broach the t©pic of your age and the damage you could have caused to yourself as well as someone else! I think you nee-d another redding!” She smiled shaking her head admonishingly.
I cringed at the thought of my bo-ttomso red that I had to sleep on my stomach for a couple days.
Yeah she was pissed, even worse after I ran back inside and into my room pla-ying video games like I hadn’t done it and then after being caught blamed it on the water fountain.
It would have been nice to say trouble never found me again but it seemed it was never more than 10 seconds behind wherever I went. After High school my mother gave up punishments, told the principal and teachers to st©p calling her and to kick me out if nee-d be because there was no hope for me.
She was very proud when I graduated and even more proud when trouble took a back seat in my car and we went off to college.
I would say that I would hate to see how my child turns out, but after remembering the younger version of myself and thinking about Ryder, all I saw was disaster.
Yup! That was all four long days ago. The days seems so much longer when you’re sitting by someone’s hospital be-d, watching the clocks every tick, waiting anxiously for their condition to improve and them to wake up.
Mother has subjected Ariana now to only one hour visits per day, but it’s obvious that even though she will be on be-d rest, the weight of this entire situation is causing her great worry.
As she sits in the chair by Richa-rd ‘s be-d I stand back and watch her as everyone else is either still at the h0tel with the kids or in the waiting area trying to give her space.
I didn’t want to leave her alone since she was at risk of losing her baby and anything could happen, not to mention what happened last time.
I look down at my IPhone 12 and smile as I re-ad a text message from my Switzerland stalker.
I know I told her it was a one time thing and she didn’t get it, but now I’m bored, so I might as well let her stalker habit entertain me while I’m here and celibate.
I was about to gr-ab my cro*ch and adjust my length but then I remembered I wasn’t in the room alone.
I glanced down at Ariana and realize there are tears streaming down her face.
I hope it’s not the baby again.
I rush to her side and kneel next to the chair trying to figure out what happened.
However, I realized that she just kept staring straight ahead. I turned to look at what she was looking at and froze.
Richa-rd was holding her hand, staring right back on her with tears streaming down his face as well, they were solely focused on each other.
I was still struggling to find Ariana and Daniel in the darkness.
That was until I felt this electricity start in my f!ngerti-ps and travel all throu-gh my b©dy. My heart is now beating erratically.
The same spark I got whenever in physical contact with her.
I couldn’t feel all of her, just her hand, the grasp of her f!ngersfirmly entwined with my own.
She was pu-lling me, I don’t know where to, because all I could concentrate on was the feeling that I have so longed to feel.
The feeling of euphoria.
It lasted for a while but then the white light bec@m£ so blinding.
I fluttered my eyes back close and the darkness welcomed me.
No I nee-d to go with her! I try ha-rder to feel her pu-ll again and my eyes flutter open once more. I blink ra-pidly to adjust my eyes to the light.
As soon as my eyes are adjusted I follow the feel of the spark and let my head that felt like a dead weight fall slightly to the side.
I couldn’t really move it as it felt like there were things going throu-gh my b©dy preventing certain movements.
There she is.
She is staring right back at me.
I couldn’t look away.
After all this time. I finally found her.
I felt something we-t run down my face.
I don’t even care if I’m crying, I thought I would never see her again in the dark abyss that had enchanted me.
I saw the tears run down her cheek as well and her hold on my hand ti-ght£ñed.
I just watched her as unre-adable expressions crossed her face.
It didn’t even appear to me that Dennis was kneeling next to her until he said my name.
“Richa-rd ..?” It was more of a whisper more than anything else.
A whisper as if asking “Is that really you?”
I looked away from her and focused on him.
He started at me in disbelief and relief.
“Ariana I’m going to call the nurse and mom.
Then I’ll call the h0tel and let Daniel and Erica know he’s awake.” Dennis said before he rushed from out of my sight.
I tried to ask why, but nothing c@m£ out.
I as-sessed myself.
There were tubes in my mouth, I was in a go-wn in and hospital be-d and my head felt funny. There were several machines all over the room, most stationed next to me as some form of wire extended from them to me.
Once I glance all around and inhaled the disinfectant s£nt, it bec@m£ quite clear that I’m in the hospital.
“My baby! Oh I’m so happy you’re awake, I’m so happy that you’re OK.” My mother la-id her head on my che-st and kept going about god knows what.
The doctor and a couple nurses c@m£ in.
My family moved away and a couple tests were run, and the tubes re-moved.
My throat felt raw.
There were so many questions I wanted to ask.
The doctor was explaining my condition as he claims.
I mean what the hell happened?
As soon as he left I look at my family confused, awaiting some form of an explanation.
“Wha-” I started to say but my throat was severely dry and my voice hoarse, I started to cough really bad.
My mother ru-bbe-d my arm and placed a cu-p against myl-ips, I eased forward a bit and sipped the water which felt welcoming pas-sing throu-gh my throat.
I la-id back and closed my eye momentarily before I try to speak again.
I open my eyes and my mother is just smiling at me.
“Better?” She asked.
I nod in response.
She smiled brighter.
I looked at Daniel and Anna before looking back to my mother.
“What happened? Why am I here?” I asked, my voice still hoarse but more audible that before.
“You were in an accident.” She responded grimly.
Oh my god!
It all c@m£ rushing back to me.
Crushing metal, screams, sirens, reaching out for her…
I look at my mother with desperation and hope.
“Camilla?” I asked.
“Mom plea-se tell me she’s OK?”
Her face fell and her b©dy tensed.
“Mom plea-se tell me she’s OK? Where is she?”
If I’m here she must have learned of Camilla by now.
I heard a g@sp and saw Anna staring at me with a broken look.
I momentarily forgot she was standing there.
“Anna! Anna!” It hurt to yell but I had to as I watch her run from the room.
“plea-se let me explain.”
But she was alre-ady gone.
Dennis c@m£ over to me.
He embr@ced me. Bringing his mouth close to my ears.
“I’m glad you’re alive little bro but youfu-cked up big time. Your wife is alive, but she’s ba-rely hanging in there, the car accident didn’t kill her but I can’t as-sure that mom hands won’t.”
I thought he was finished as he was about to stand back but he eased back down to my ears again and spoke.
“Oh and if your wife makes it, I wouldn’t mind taking her off your hands, she’s just my type.”
I could hear the sm-irk, accusation and sarcasm all laced into that one statement.
He stood back and shook his head at me before leaving to go check on Ariana.
This was not suppose to happen like this.
CHAPTER 33 ♦️♦️
🎼🎼I love you
You love me
Oh baby I know it’s true
But sometimes it’s crazy
The kind of things that you do
I’m tired of trying to be your number one
I love you (I no go lie)
I love you (I no go lie)
I’m trying to use my head
The more I try, the worse situation is getting
I’m trying to say goodbye
I feel the hurt inside
I think you got me bad
Baby I no go lie🎼🎼
“How could you? How could you do this? To Ariana? To Andrea? To the triplets? Your family? How could you Richa-rd ? I thought I raised you better. So you were just going to start an Amish family somewhere with 50 wives and a village filled with children? This is what you meant when you said you were going to have tons of children?” She waved her arms frantically as she paced back and forth berating me.
All of a sudden she froze, g@sped and then turned around.
“Are you a secret polygamist? Oh god! I raised a polygamist, how could I have not seen it! I demand to know where you are keeping your village of wives and children this minute Richa-rd Michael Anderson! All these business trips? Oh god plea-se don’t tell me they were all lies to go to your polygamy village? I nee-d to sit!” She sat down and just stared at me in disbelief.
This whole thing is ridiculous.
I have just been here letting my mother throw accusations at me for the past four days.
Yup its been four days since I’ve woken up from that horrid darkness.
Never before had I been so scared of the dark, until that moment when I thought I would never see my family again.
My biggest fear is losing my family and right about now, it seems my fear is going to leave me heart broken.
I try so ha-rd to protect them, but I always just end up hurting them.
Maybe I’m really just no good for them or maybe I should just put all the truth on the table and see if the four legs are enough to keep it standing.
I doubt it.
The truth can set you free.
I know it will set me free.
I nee-d it to set me free, this truth has been hurting my soul for too long. It’s easy for everyone to judge me when no one un-derstands what I go throu-gh.
No one un-derstands the dark sleepless nights, cold sweat, or screams when I do sleep.
Yet, I keep it all in so they can sleep at night, so I can hurt for them, so they can be free.
It doesn’t seem to be working anymore though.
It seems that I can no longer hold the hurt as its sli-pping throu-gh my pores, throu-gh my f!ngers, throu-gh my mouth, and throu-gh my eyes.
They were all to protect everyone, including myself.
But how am I protecting myself when I’m lying here broken, not just physically but mentally and emotional.
I broke the love of my life’s heart.
The hurt in her eyes told me there is no hope for us. But how can that be when she won’t even let me explain. She just accepted what she as-sumed.
But I won’t accept that.
I broke Camila physically.
I swore to protect her.
I’m such a failure.
I was alre-ady scared of failing and I did. Let me just say, it’s the worst possible feeling ever.
I want life to be over because of how it feels, but I know better, God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers, life will go on. I just have to pick up the pieces and make this all better.
“So you are still not going to respond to me? Huh? This is outrageous you know! I know the bible says to be fruitful and multi-ply but Richa-rd I don’t think it meant like this. You and your wife are to become one! How can you become one with 50 women? plea-se don’t tell me I’m going to see on the news another case where busses are pu-lling up to a ranch and loading on multi-ple women and children and then your name and face pops up as the father and husband of them all? I think I am going to have a heart attac…” she was breathing ha-rd and holding her che-st.
“Mother enough! plea-se calm down and have a seat! All your pacing is giving me a headache.” I told her.
She st©pped and put her hands on her h!ps like a mother hen.
“Oh! So now you know how to speak. If you’re not locked away in that who-re’s hospital room, or on the phone talking to the kids you remain silent! When the hell are you going to tell us what’s going on. All you said was ‘mom she’s not my wife’.” She whined mimicking me.
“Another lie! But you claimed its the truth, how is it the truth when you can’t tell us anything else. Your mouth has been sealed since then. I know you claim only to explain when Ariana comes around again, but its been four days Richa-rd ! Four! What if she decides never to see your stupid lying polygamy face again? Huh? What then? The rest of us just never learn the truth? You know what. I’m about sick of this foolishness.” She had sat down but now she got back up and started to head to the door.
“You know what? I’m going to go and choke the truth out of that who-re next door since you won’t talk and you’re my son, so I think I would get more time in prison for killing my own son, that would look too cruel, so I’ll just go back to her. Too bad I failed the first time.”
I was up on my feet and heading to the door in a flash. I gr@bb£d her arm and pu-ll-ed her back into the room.
“Mother plea-se behave. You have alre-ady attem-pted to try to kill her once and break into her room twice, I don’t even want to know what you were planning to do then. But don’t even try it, I have as-signed security to her door. No one goes in but the doctor, nurses and I, not even dennis and his twisted mind.” I told her seriously.
“Fine. Well I’ll just go and dress like a nurse or a doctor. Had I known that, I wouldn’t even had to try so ha-rd last time hiding un-der a cart to sneak in. Brilliant idea son.” She sm-irked.
“Mother I am warning you. This is bigger than you think and it’s very serious. Camilla is very important to Andrea and I. Would you like to Explain to Andrea when she’s older that you killed Camila?”
Her face fell.
I didn’t want to make her feel bad, but she nee-ded to un-derstand the severity of her actions and this situation.
I know she loves Ariana but she doesn’t know Camila, nor does she know her story, she nee-ds to st©p being so judgmental and jumping to conclusions.
I know I haven’t given her much to go off and all these as-sumptions and speculations are all because I haven’t really told them the truth.
Truth be, I still don’t know how to come out with it.
This truth has the ability to change so many lives.
Not just ours, but thousands. But in the end, the one most affected will be Camila and my family.
“Mom you’ve been here all day. I am fine and I’m being discharge tomorrow if all goes well after they run these test on my head later today to make sure everything is okay before they discharge me. Go shower and rest and relax. I promise tomorrow I will tell you everything, just give me today to get myself together.”
“Okay!” She nods, hvgs me, takes up her purse from the chair and leaves.
I took a de-ep breath.
Well that was exhausting.
I was walking to the be-d when the door opened again.
I turn around.
“Hey man! Mom said she’s re-ady. You okay?” Daniel asked coming to stand in front of me.
“Yeah I’m good. Just got a lot to think about. Can you make sure I get to talk to the kids when you get back before they go off to be-d and let me know how Ariana is doing?” I asked him.
“Okay, But to be honest I don’t think you deserve her but you guys are meant to be. I hope you can fix this and you two really nee-d to talk, there are two many secrets between you two.” I nod.
“Your kids really miss you man, and Ryder is out of control. Even worst now that you’re not around, anna is an emotional wreck and he’s hanging with dennis. Little dude peed in the flowerpot in the lobby yesterday. Mom almost had a conniption when he dropped his un-derwear fully and started running throu-gh the lobby waving his p*nis around and screaming ‘ free willy’.
We both feel out laughing.
I plan to punish him for that but first I have to admit it’s funny.
Sounds like Ryder.
He has no care in the world sometime. I wish I could be like him.
“That’s funny! I’m surprise mom wasn’t going on about that today. She was so busy trying to figure out how to kill Camilla, she must have forgot.” I told him
“So when do you plan to tell us what’s going on with that Camila girl? I know you claimed she’s not your wife. But you never denied her being your ex-wife or anything.”
“Like I just told mom, I’ll explain it all tomorrow, but for right now I just want to rest before they change this cast on my arm to put on a sturdier one and poke and probe my b©dy.”
“Alright fine. I’ll call you when I get back to the h0tel so you can talk to the menaces you created.”
We embr@ce each other in a hvg, well him more so that me, since my cast was kind of in the way. As soon as he left I went to Camilla’s room which was next to mine.
I sat in the chair I normally occu-py since I would sit here every time I was alone.
To say I was relieved yesterday when she started to breath on her own is an un-derstatement.
I really thought I would find myself in the situation of pu-lling the plug.
But that wasn’t the case and I’m grateful. She started to breath on her own yesterday and today it seems she was much better as they decided to re-move the oxygen mask from her face.
The scratches we both received were now healing. Some still black, blue and red, while others return to normal and are starting to fade.
I took her hand in my left hand and just sat there watching her sleep.
It’s such a complex thing that we take lightly each day of our lives. But it’s so ess£ntial to living.
I sat there for almost and hour drifting in and out of thoughts until my phone rang.
It was Dennis.
I gro-an ed before answering wondering if he was just going to remind me again how much of a scre-w up I am.
“Hello” I answered.
“Dada!” My b©dy relaxed and I smiled. I put the phone on speaker phone so Camila could hear her also.
“Hey baby girl! What’s daddy baby doing?” I asked.
“Dada Ry bad. Mama said bad Ry and Ryan go time out. Rose pl@yprincess Dada, I eat Lolly. Uncle denny gimme Lolly.”
I laughed at her, she always telling me what everyone is doing. Such a snitch.
Laugh out loud.
“Uncle dennis gave you a lolli-pop? Well that nice. Don’t swallow it, remember?” I asked.
“OK good girl! Where’s your mama?” I get the most info about anna from my call with the kids.
I’m always worried about them.
“Mama Sick. Mama go yucckkyyy in potty! I tell mama I miss her boo boo so mama no cry no more. Andrea make mama happy Dada!”
I could hear how proud of herself she is right now.
“Daddy’s proud of you. k!ssmama for daddy OK baby girl! Tell mama daddy loves her.” I told her.
“Yay Dada love mama! Dada love Tomar?”
“Of course daddy loves you. Give daddy k!ss!”
“Muahhhhh” I heard her giggle after k!ss!ngme throu-gh the phone.
“Your such a silly billy babygirl. Daddy loves you. Go give your sister the phone.”
” OK Dada! Sissy! Sisssy!” She yells as I hear her running in the background.
“Daddyyyyy!!” Rose squeals.
“Hey daddy’s princess! Why are your brother’s in time out.” I asked her curious what those two did this time.
“Ryder ate all his chicken str!ps and he wanted Ryan’s and mommy said no. Ry didn’t listen and he took Ryan chicken and Ryan kicked him in the stomach. They both have to stay in time out and I get ice cream!” She gloated in a sing song telling voice.
I sm-irked. Ryan is such a warrior when provoked. I wonder when Ryder is going to st©p un-derestimating his brother.
“Ok. You tell your brother’s that if they don’t behave daddy is going to punish them when he gets home ok!”
“Ryan and Ryder, daddy is going to punish you. Your getting boo boos on your bam bam. Your getting boo boos on your bam bam.” She started yelling to her brother’s I would as-sume.
I could only laugh.
My kids are something else.
I can’t wait to have more.
A village of kids did sound good when my mother mentioned it.
“Princess! Princess!” I try to say over her singing about her brothers getting their punishments
“Yes daddy!” She’s all of a sudden quiet and sweet.
I swear she is no better than her brothers, all she has to do is give you that sweet voice and those eyes and your wra-pped around her f!nger like a band aid.
“Is your mommy ok?” I asked
“Ohhhh daddy. Mommy was puking in the toilet. Aunty Erica and Uncle Daniel put her to be-d. They told us not to bother her. We have to stay with grandma. But Andrea was crying so uncle dennis gave her a lolli-pop and then she st©pped.”
Is Ariana sick?
Why didn’t anyone feel it was important to tell me?
And why didn’t anyone take her to the doctor.
Now I’m angry.
“OK princess, daddy loves you. Be sure to behave for grandma and take care of your sister, OK? Daddy will be home soon.”
“OK daddy! Love you too.”
Then there was the dial tone before I could even tell her to put dennis on the phone so I could ask him why Ariana is sick and no one told me.
I guess I nee-d to calm down before I can him back.
I wish I could see Ariana.
It must sound so messed up for me to be sitting here holding one woman’s hand while I think about the other.
I look down at the ring as I held it between my index f!nger and my thumb spinning it in circle of my right hand.
Thankfully I’m still able to use my f!ngerseven though the cast makes my movements stiff.
The 11 carat natural pink pear cut diamond ring Trillian stones on the side sparkled as it reflected on the light.
I did not spend 2.5 million on a ring just to stare at it.
It nee-ds to be on her f!nger.
She nee-ds to be my wife.
My one and only wife.
She is my one true love.
This ring is my promise of ever.
There was a knock at the door and I look up to see the guard I hired standing there.
“Yes?” I asked.
“The doctors are re-ady for you!” He told me on German.
“Danke!” I thanked him back in german and nod dismissing him.
I look at Camila.
“plea-se get better soon. I’m not going home without, I’ll wait here as long as it takes for you to get better.” I k!$$£d her on the head and exited the room.
Time to get pricked and probe-d.
Hopefully I’ll be a seeing Ariana tomorrow.
I can’t wait.
🎼🎼I nee-d you
You nee-d me
Oh baby I know it’s true
But sometimes it kills me
The kind of things that you do
But sometimes I’m trying to be your number one
I love you (I no go lie)
I love you (I no go lie)
I’m lying in my be-d
Trying to forget memories but is taking over me
I’m trying not to cry
Tears are ha-rd to find
It’s had to let you go
Baby I no go lie🎼🎼