BEING ALONE
EPISODE 7
I bent my head as I couldn’t stand mummy’s gaze. I knew I was in soup.
Mum: Is this the height of your shamelessness? You fake innocence just to get pity from them, then you lure him to your room to s£dûç£him?
I sh0t my head up immediately. I opened my mouth to speak but no words c@m£ out.
Mum: You have done enough today, hiding behind your innocent face. I’ve had it up to the n£¢k and I’ll have to speak to Mrs Kalu about this so she’ll see that I’ve got reasons why I’m not so good to you. You’re just like your mother and……
Kamsi chose this time to push the door open. She was smiling but immediately she saw mummy, her face turned into a frown.
Kamsi: I’m sorry ma if I interrupted something. Didn’t know you were in here.
Mummy sized her up and left the room immediately.
Kamsi: What’s the problem? You look so bitter.
She c@m£ closer to me and held my shoulder.
Kamsi: Tell me. Or don’t you share your problems anymore?
The tears started falling and I sat down on my be-d.
Me: I want to leave here. I want to go somewhere else. Even an orphanage will be more fair to me than here.
Kamsi: You still haven’t said why you’re in this mood.
Me: I’m so ashamed to say it. Coupled with the fact that mummy saw……
Kamsi: You and Gospel k!ssing?
I was surprised.
Kamsi; I know. I was coming here to tell you that Gospel just spoke to mum about you two. Mum is okay with whatever you both share together.
No! This is not true. It can’t be happening.
Kamsi: What are you thinking of now? Come on, I know Gospel loves you very much. He hides nothing from me. I also know that you may not love him yet but you feel something strong for him. So cheer up, go and take your bath.
I nodded and undressed in front of her. She saw the blood stain in my p@n-ts and couldn’t keep her mouth shut.
Kamsi: So you’re menstruating and I’ve being begging you to go and take your bath eh?
Me: Its not like I’ve not showered today.
I brou-ght out a piece of my towel and folded it, took my p@n-t and towel and made for the bathroom.
Kamsi: You’re forgetting your pad.
Me: Help me look around, if you find one, bring it into the bathroom for me.
I didn’t let her to speak further before entering the bathroom. While I showered, I spent some extra time, thinking of Gospel and why his sudden interest in me. I recalled that before he travelled, we were so close that people called him my god father. Will the f0rç£s that always destroy my happiness allow this one to grow? Or will they take him as well?
I left the bathroom after a thorou-gh bath, ma-king sure I washed off the other pieces I used earlier. I c@m£ out to see Kamsi wearing a frown.
Kamsi: Don’t tell me you used that thing I saw.
I don’t know if it was a question or a statement so I just kept quiet.
Kamsi: You don’t want to answer me bah?
Me: What should I tell you? I don’t have money to buy pads.
Kamsi: And you didn’t tell your mother about it?
Me: Who says I didn’t? I did. She advised that I use one of my towels.
Kamsi: Gosh! This woman is so wicked. I nee-d to speak to her right now
Me: No wait. You can’t. I’ll pay the price when you leave. Today is the third day and it’ll be over by tomorrow or next. Just let it go. I even feel more comfortable with this pieces of towels.
Kamsi: Amanda you’re something else. Dress up so we can go to the main house.
I wore my baggy jean short with a polo.
Me: I’m done
Kamsi: You and this your baggy wears. I’ll talk to Gospel to do something about your outfits.
I smiled. She doesn’t know that each clothes that were bought for me in the past, mummy would always take them and give it to Nenye. We walked outside and I was surprised to see Nenye and Kenneth at the terrace. Kamsi hissed and muttered something while we entered the house. Mummy was no longer in the sitting room. It was just Mrs Kalu and Gospel.
Me: Do I bring you something?
Mrs k: No my child. Come and sit.
She tapped the sofa beside her and I lowered myself to it, feeling Gospel’s eyes on me.
Mrs k; Why do you always look down? You’re not a slave. Now, look at me.
I slowly looked up and met her gaze. I looked away immediately and she smiled.
Mrs k: Kamsi, you’ll have to do a good job in teaching her a lot. Is this how she’ll walk around in school?
Kamsi; Don’t worry mum. Just get me the supplementary form for ESUT and I’ll teach her all she nee-ds to know.
Mrs Kalu smiled and I bent my head again. I’ve never witnessed people talk about me with so much love in my pres£nce.
Mrs k: We’ll be leaving now. But I’ll like to talk to you first.
Me: You’re leaving? Without dinner? I made dinner as well and it won’t be fair to leave without eating.
Mrs k: Your meals are always wonderful and I’ll give anything to always eat them but my dear, I think we’ve overstayed our welcome here so it’ll be in our best interest to leave.
I un-derstood what she was saying but before I could speak further, Gospel spoke up.
Gospel: Amanda, why not pack up some food for us. We’ll eat it at home.
Kamsi: Perfect.
I smiled and stood up while Kamsi followed suit. I quic-kly found a warmer and dished out a good quantity of the food, with some chicken as well. Kamsi was happy and wouldn’t st©p talking. I carried the warmer to the sitting room and Gospel took it from me and left.
Mrs k: Amanda plea-se come.
I went back to her and sat down in my former position.
Mrs k: My child, I fear this will be the last time that I’ll be here.
Me: But why?
Mrs k: I don’t want to get angry and speak some words that will ruin our family’s friendsh!p. I want you to know something, every great man or woman has a bitter story. Whatever you’re going throu-gh now, take it as a big challenge and tackle whatever problem that comes your way. You won’t be alone for long. My daughter will get the supplementary form for your school and enrol as well. She’ll guide you in whatever difficulty you encounter.
She paused and looked at me.
Mrs k: Secondly, you nee-d to st©p this shyness of yours. Be bold. Be strong, communicate with people because it’ll help you out a lot. Being distant from yourself and people will only add to your emotional torture. Learn to speak up, it’s the key to a perfect life. Finally, Gospel told me something which I loved. Do you want to know?
I nodded.
Mrs k: He loves you and nee-ds my blessings. Now tell me if you feel same way for my son.
I bec@m£ ton-gue tied. What if mummy was somewhere listening to us? Like Kamsi had said, I felt something strong for Gospel but won’t it be just one of my usual fantasies because I was sure mummy won’t let it happen.
Mrs k: My child?
Her voice brou-ght me back to reality and I stared at her.
Mrs k: You’ll be fine. Trust me, you’ll be fine. Heard you’ll be resuming school tomorrow.
I nodded and she frowned.
Me: I’m sorry. Yes ma.
Mrs k: That’s better. We’ll leave now and try to be a good girl.
Kamsi; Of course she is a good girl.
I smiled and Mrs Kalu stood up.
Mrs k: Kammy go and call your brother while Amanda walk me to the car.
Kamsi headed upstairs while I followed Mrs Kalu. Immediately we walked out of the door, she put something into my pocket and shook her head. I thanked her and we went outside to the car pack where Gospel was leaning on their car and taking a call. Immediately he saw us, he dismissed the caller and ended the call.
Gospel; Amanda thanks for today. I had fun with your meal and plea-se, forgive me if I did something to upset you.
Me: No plea-se. Don’t apologise because you did nothing wrong.
Gospel: You’ll go to school tomorrow right?
I nodded before I could get myself.
Gospel: Eh?
Me: Yes, I’ll go.
Gospel: I’ll come and pick you up for lunch. Hope you don’t mind?
Me: Not at all.
He gave me his phone and I dialled my number.
Gospel: Thanks. See you tomorrow okay.
Me: Thank you.
He opened the back door for his mum who had been smiling and she got in. He c@m£ back to where I was standing and looked at me for some seconds.
Gospel: About that k!ss, if she lays a hand on you, don’t hesitate to give me a call.
My mood changed immediately as I remembered I was yet to be punished for k!ss!nghim. It occurred to me immediately that my phone may be seized as well.
Me: plea-se can you give me your card? I fear that my phone may be seized.
I saw a frown appear on his face and he looked around. He opened the car and got a card out before sli-pping it into the same pocket his mum had earlier sli-pped something into.
Gospel: Just let me know if something comes up.
Me: Thank you.
I heard footsteps approaching and I turned around. It was Kamsi and Kenneth.
Ken: Amanda you didn’t notice my pres£nce in your house abi.
Me; You were busy nau. I didn’t want to disturb you.
He enveloped me in his arms immediately.
Ken; You know you can never be a disturbance, not when you’re going to be my sister in law soon.
They all laughed while I smiled.
Gospel: Don’t embarras-s the girl Ken. You know she’s shy.
Kamsi: Don’t worry Gospel, she’ll snap out of it once I’m closer to her.
Gospel: We’ll leave now. Take care okay.
They all hvgged me before getting into the car. As I watched them drive away, I prayed silently that my punishment will be little.
I rushed to the boys quarter and emptied my pocket, there was #5000 together with Gospels’ card. I quic-kly wrote down his number in my diary, returned the card in my pocket and hid the money behind the wall clock in my room before going to ease myself. I was in the toilet when I heard my door open and I knew the worst has visited me. I finished and left the bathroom to meet my mum with a cane while Nenye was grinning behind her.
BEING ALONE
EPISODE 8
Mum: You want to be great by using every opportunity to prove that my daughter and myself are bad people right? You want to smear my name in the mud trying to act all innocent eh?
Me: No mother. If I did something wrong, forgive me plea-se.
I knelt down immediately, ru-bbing my palms together to show my sincerity.
Mum: Your good acts won’t save you today. You’ve done more than enough.
She attacked me with the cane, flogging me everywhere she thought would hurt me; my head, my brea-sts, my face, my back, she didn’t spare any p@rt of my b©dy. I cried nonst©p but she wouldn’t st©p either. It was at this point that I knew how much she hated me. Suddenly, she st©pped.
Mum: Now look at me
Her voice was loud enough to wake a deaf man. I sh0t my head up and I felt something drop on my hand. I looked down and shivered. It was blood, my blood.
Mum: You had the guts to be k!ss!ngthat boy in my house. You’re just like your mother. So shameless. Not only that, you had the effrontery to hvg Kenneth, my daughter’s b©yfri£nd, I’ll deal with you today.
She resumed her flogging again, but this time, I didn’t cry, not because it didn’t hurt, but because I couldn’t cry anymore. She flogged my head especially, I don’t know if she had plans to kill me or something. I just remained on the floor, protecting my face from her as-sault.
Mum: Get me the grinded pepper right away.
I raised my head and watched Nenye leave the room. They had it all planned out alre-ady.
Mum: Un-Cloth.
Goodness knew how I felt that moment. I wouldn’t stay here and let them add pepper to my wounds. No I won’t.
She kicked my stomach and repeated her order.
I gently stood up, struggling with myself not to fall back on the floor.
When I was standing £r£¢tenough, she flogged my ribs repeatedly while I screamed in pain.
Mum: I said, Un-Cloth. All down to your p@n-t.
I shook my head as no words could exit my mouth at that moment. Nenye c@m£ into the room, carrying a plate.
Nenye: I know you’re not deaf. So just do as mummy said.
I kept on standing, holding my ribs which felt like it was going to break that moment.
Mum: You’re testing my patience right? You think I can’t tear your clothes to shreds?
I coughed and felt blood leave my throat and into my mouth. I opened my mouth and they dropped.
Nenye: Mum, just do it let’s get out of here.
I could detect the fear in her voice. Mummy herself had wrinkles in her forehead and I was sure it was from fear and worry.
Me: You…….you can do what you wa….want to do mummy. I won’t hold it against you.
Mum: Who cares if you hold it against me or not? Who are you? What do you have? Disgusting. You want me to fall for your acts and pity you? Never. Never. You did me wrong by coming into this world and letting your mother will everything to the child she had not even born. Not only that, I had to nurse you when my children were just two months old. I heard people gush about your beauty and br@ins whereas my daughter was called the black sheep of the house. Your entire life did me wrong. I’ll never feel pity for you. Never.
And like a flash, I felt it on my face. I heard a scream which I was sure c@m£ from my mouth. I closed my eyes immediately as the pain started. She had poured the pepper on my face. What wrong have I done?
I writhed in pain and tried using my hand to locate the door to my bathroom. I found the door quite alright but the flogging started again. This time, she rained curses on me while I cried in pain as I felt my face burning from the pepper. Even in the darkness I felt, I knew I had to struggle to survive. I stood up and located the bathroom even with the lashing I was getting. I always leave water in the bucket and I’m grateful I did. I quic-kly located the bucket and started pouring water on my face. I knew the pain and h0tness won’t st©p but I nee-ded to wash off the pepper to st©p it from causing more damage. While I was washing off, she st©pped flogging me and I heard footsteps and a door close, which means she had left the room. Out of instincts, I buried my face in the bucket full of water and prayed nothing will happen to my face. I nee-ded to be in school tomorrow and I don’t want anything to spoil my education. When I eased up a little, I stood up with my eyes still closed. I walked to the bathroom door and picked my towel, dabbing my face gently. I slowly fell on the floor crying my eyes out before pas-sing out
.
What a wicked word
WATCHOUT FOR EPISODE 9
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