ALLISON’S👸
DIARY📒📖
(Secrets ❎❎)
CHAPTER 29
BY BLESSING SILVER
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✏Jonas POV✏
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I st©pped the car.
My greatest fear hit me really ha-rd the moment my phone subconsciously sli-pped from my grip. My b©dy froze and myl-ips remained slightly ap@rt as I stared into space and let Allison’s words sink more into my head.
She knew and just as I had feared, her reaction wasn’t good. I wasn’t mad that she found out, I mean she has every right to know and I was just too terrified to be the one to tell her. I wanted to, even after knowing that she’s been told I still feared explaining to her; I couldn’t, even though I should have. I was scared, very scared of reality, scared of her reaction and action and here, it’s not even a facial conversation but the h0tness of it burnt me pretty bad.
I could only think of one person telling her, Anthony. It was no doubt him, ap@rt from me; she knows just him.
At that sp©t and at that minute, I could only describe my life with two words; fv¢ked up.
My head hit the steering and I let it stay that way, many thoughts ran in my head but I couldn’t process any. It was too tangled, too complicated to be loosed and I didn’t bother trying. It’s right for her to know, I mean I know I can’t be in a relationsh!pwith her, knowing that I still kept hidden something as de-ep as this from her, the guilt wouldn’t let me, she is just too innocent for me to not have a conscience and she was the first person I’ve ever felt such a de-ep attra-ction with. I didn’t have a conscience, at least I could boastfully say that in the past cos I’ve done many horrible things and gotten out of them with no single emotion or sympathy but knowing Allison, I felt that change about me. Ap@rt from Gavin who witnessed it, I couldn’t reveal to anyone else how my parent died, it was like a secret I locked in de-ep but one k!ssfrom her, re-leased it, for the first time; I was able to open up that blurry p@rt of my life to someone and let that person console me, I did that without regretting it. Personally, it was a hvge change for me and I kind of wished I had told her everything at that sp©t. I could only wish but I knew I couldn’t. Honestly, telling her was secretly one of my biggest fear and I knew I wouldn’t be letting it out anytime soon or maybe never.
I shut my eyes on impulse, taking in a long inhale and exhale as the thoughts ran even ra-pidly in my head.
*I HATE YOU!*
The words rang in my head, causing a stiff frown on my face. I started the car and reversed, facing it backwards, I began driving again.
*
Hours later, I arrived at the old abandoned house, I st©pped the car and climbe-d down before running towards the entrance. I arrived at the door and bur-st it open, dashing inside.
“Alli-
My words hung the moment I sighted Anthony, standing in the middle of the room like he was expecting someone.
“Hey,” he flashed me a lopsided smile. “I knew you’d come. I was expecting you” he said and at a point, a p@rt of me wanted to just reach for him and punch him to death but then a larger p@rt kicked against it. I took a step forward, staring directly at him.
“Why did you do it?” I asked.
“She deserved to know” he answered.
“You should’ve let me tell her myself. I feel very bad cos I didn’t” I said.
“I would’ve let you, honestly but I just couldn’t cos it was taking too long. Think about it, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyways, it wouldn’t change her feelings and reaction” he said.
“Still you-” I calmed down, taking in de-ep breaths to calm my nerves. “You should’ve just let me” I said.
“Well, I didn’t and it doesn’t matter to me because that’s not why I’m here,” he said.
“I want to talk to Allison” I said.
“Turn yourself in, Jonas” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“Turn yourself in and stand for us in court. Tell the cops all you know and testify against Gavin. Be on our team and every other good person out there. You’ll be doing the right thing for yourself and it could less£n your jail term, I’ll make sure it does” he said.
“What? Why will I want to testify against Gavin when I’m involved?-
“For Allison” he said but I kept mute, staring blankly at him. “Well, even if you refuse, Jonas, you’ll definitely still be on the loser side, infact you’ll be even in more $h!t than you can ever imagine. I have just as much evidence to bring you down-
I couldn’t help it anymore as I charged at him and took his collar ti-ghtly into my fists, staring angrily at him.
He re-leased a short hysterical laugh. “You should take it easy, son. You don’t think I’ll come see a criminal in a place like this, alone, did you?” He sm-irked and I let go of his collar f0rç£fully. He adjusted his overall outfit and began walking to the door but paused halfway and turned to me.
“You have no idea how heartbroken Allison is, you should do the right thing while you still can. You don’t find second chances all the time” he said.
“You told Allison about me so you could use me?” I asked, giving him a ti-ght look.
“Well l-I wouldn’t exactly call it that but you’re not wrong,” he said plainly. “Why? Does it hurt your pride to be used? You used Allison too, have you forgotten that?”
“I love her!” I snapped.
“Then you should prove it to her” he said but I was quic-k to catch the trick.
“You can wallow in your own disappointment, Anthony. Because I’m not letting you use me. I can decide what’s right for me” I said.
“Fine!” He said, smiling and gesturing surrender with his two hands raised in the air. “But just in case, the court case is in a week time”
“I want to talk to Allison,” I said stiffly. “plea-se” I added, calmly.
“I can try but not today nor tomorrow. She’s still hurting a lot. She must’ve trusted you even more than I had thought,” he said. “And while you wait, try to go into some more thinking” he said and I to-re my gaze away from him and walked out. Reaching outside, I head to my car and got into it.
It was slightly pitch dark when I hit the road aimlessly, I nee-ded the ride to get the occu-pying thoughts off, the wind gushing in throu-gh the window, helped a lot and I added more speed, driving towards no direction.
The road was close to empty and the very few cars I could find on it, I always overtook as soon as I reached them.
At a point during the drive, I thought of Allison and imagined how she must be feeling or what she must think of me ap@rt from the words she said and when I saw it, I shook the thought away, adding more speed.
The ride went on for a long time, I couldn’t exactly point how much but my palm knuckles started to hurt and get weak and my eyes began itching from too much straining, I knew I nee-ded rest but I didn’t want to st©p so I just ignored the hurt and kept driving.
Tears, gathered in my eyes, as if pleading with me to relieve it and if not for the fact that the tears blurred my vision I was pretty sure I would’ve kept the ride going. I parked across the road and wiped my eyes, more tears threatened to pour with a completely different reason but I was quic-k to wipe it. I stretched my palms, straightened it and was starting the car again but it only j£rked, re-leased an ugly roar and st©pped.
“$h!t!” I cussed, tears gathering in my eyes again.
How can this happen right now? How do I refill the tank if it won’t even move and just why now?!
I hit the steering, shaking the thoughts off, I placed my tired head on it and shut my eyes; shutting the thoughts
*
My eyes instantly flung open as the loud ringing of my phone reached my hearing, I ru-bbe-d my sleepy eyes and picked the phone up. It was Zoe. I answered..
“Geez Jonas! Where are you and why weren’t you answering my calls?! I’ve been calling you for hours!” She asked loudly.
“Why are you calling me?” I asked.
“Do you know what time it is? Why aren’t you home?” She asked. I pu-ll-ed the phone from ear and glanced at the time, my eyes wi-de-ned a little. *3:02*
“Jonas? Hey! Did you leave me hanging?”
I placed the phone on my ear.
“I won’t be coming home, I told you that alre-ady. It’s late so I’m hanging up”
“Don’t you dare hang up on m-
I ended the call and silenced my phone before dropping it.
ru-bbing my eyes again, I took out my phone and searched for close by motels and recommendations. I found one but realised it might be too late to check-in.. I pushed my head backward until it met with the headrest, I moistened myl-ips with my ton-gue and closed my eyes, letting out a hvge sigh.
CHAPTER 30
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✏ Allison’s POV✏
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I took a piece of the chopped meat from my plate and reached it into my mouth, chewing at it, it tasted the same; just like other days and food. Tasteless and raw.
Anthony always said I nee-ded to eat to regain enough strength to fight for my parents. He’s right. It’s been four days and I alre-ady looked so skinny and sullen. I spent most of my time in the room I was given, or probably all. I had only c@m£ out last night for dinner, somehow I know I’ve got to move past the heartbreak, it hit me just the same as my parents death. I didn’t realize how much I loved him until the moment I found out who he was and his betrayal. As much as I tried to think of why Jonas would venture into being an as-sas-sin, I couldn’t bring out a reasonable theory.
Everything had just been a plain lie! Every damn thing!
I took another meat into my fork, ignoring the other plates of food. I brou-ght it to my mouth and chewed at it uninterestingly.
“Allison?” Anthony suddenly called from the other side of the table.
“Yeah?” I answered, not staring at him but at the remaining pieces of meat that I roamed throu-gh with my fork as if looking throu-gh it for something else.
“Have you thought about what I asked of you?” He asked.
“Asked of me?” I repeated, staring at him with my brows furrowed. “What was that?”
Well, I do remember him talking yesterday but at some points I happened to zone out occasionally during the talks and he just left after talking. I didn’t get any of what he said and I wasn’t interested cos I thought it was one of those his many talks about moving on, being strong and stuffs.
“You didn’t listen, did you?” He asked and I shook my head negatively, lowering my gaze in apology. “Well, I was saying you should consider talking to Jonas” he said and my gaze dart to him, my brows furrowing de-eply. He took out a phone and pushed it towards me. “Cos we might nee-d his help in court, as a member and a witness. It’d be much more easier for us” he added.
“He won’t give it” I replied him plainly, bringing my gaze back to my food.
“Still, we nee-d to try” he pushed.
“If you were in his shoes, would you want to help? Would you want to give out informations that could damn you?” I asked, staring at him.
“If it somehow favors me then I will. This can benefit Jonas too, if he helps us then I can make sure he gets a lesser s£ntence” Anthony pushed.
“He doesn’t deserve it. He’s just as much a killer as the rest, he should get what he deserves!” I said, lowering my gaze and taking it back up.
“Really? You really want that for Jonas?” He asked, giving me a suspicious look.
“Why not?” I asked. “He killed my parents-
“And he saved you. Did he pu-ll the trigger on your parent?”
“No but he was there. He was a p@rt of it!” I defended, letting the fork drop.
“I know. Look, I’m not saying Jonas isn’t a bad guy or a killer but he saved your life, Allison. That’s one good thing that a serial killer would definitely not do. You would’ve been dead and your parent wouldn’t be getting the Justice they deserve, if he didn’t have a teeny-weeny good in him then he would’ve turned you in long ago” Anthony said and for a long moment, I was quiet. Thinking briefly. “He didn’t hurt you”
“That doesn’t matter” I said, looking away again. “He hurt me parent. There’s no difference” I added, picked the phone and walked away.
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*I won’t hurt you*
*Trust me, Allison*
Hos words kept ringing in my head as I stared up at the ceiling. Why did he have to lie to me?
Why did he make me trust him when he knew he was hiding such a secret from me?
Why did he become a bad guy and why did he save me after murdering me parent and acted so innocent and guiltless? Why didn’t he kill me too that night and helped me?
A very audible sigh pas-sed throu-gh mel-ips and I sat up, I reached for the phone and picked it up.
Somehow I didn’t want to hear his voice, I didn’t want to see him ever again cos I wasn’t sure what I’d do or say. He’s a bad guy and plus the things he did, that alone should’ve blocked out every single thing I feel for him. What I have left is hatred. To me, among all those bad guys he worked with, he was the worst cos he hid something so strong from me and even k!$$£d me! Acting like a saint and a great guy! He made me fall so much in love with him and then-
I sniffed, wiping the tears that had fell from my eyes. I turned the phone on and went to the contact, I scrolled to his ID and held a hand above it. Slowly, I tapped on it and heard it ring after a brief moment. At each sound, my heart gave an unusual thump and my anger rose.
“Hello?,” He said and his voice..
It was unlike him. It wasn’t the usual cold tone, it was soft and bemusing. “Anthony?” He said again.
“It’s Allison” I said, muffling a cry..
“A-Allison?” He called, surprised and breathless at the same time and hearing him call my name, s£nt a mild stab to my heart. A stupid urge followed, an urge to see him.
*
❤️Jonas POV ❤️
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I left the window, picking up the cu-p of tea, I felt the temperature and left it back on the table, it was cold and soggy. I turned and my gaze caught my reflection from the mirror, I almost couldn’t recognize my own self. It was like my mother’s death had happened a second time, like deja Vu.
I looked lean and pale. Beards sprung from every corner of my chin. It’s been four days and a half alre-ady since I started living in a motel and those days had been really trying for me. I ba-rely ate, bath or rest. It was totally like how I was when my family crashed and it reflected everywhere, even my voice wasn’t left out. I looked so unkempt unlike when I first c@m£ in here.. I glanced away from the mirror and picked up my phone, I had turned it off earlier because of Zoe’s incessant call. The only call I badly wanted wasn’t even coming. I turned the phone on and silenced it. I was about leaving it on the be-d when I saw a call come in. It wasn’t Zoe’s, it was Anthony’s so I answered immediately.
“Hello?” I said but got no response. “Anthony?” I added, curiously.
“It’s Allison”
The voice made my b©dy freeze for a brief moment, only her voice registered in my head.
“A-Allison?” I called, my breathing mixing with my voice.
“Yes? Don’t you have anything to say to me?” Her voice was a bit different but she sounded cold. “Nothing?” She added almost immediately.
“I didn’t mean to lie to you, Allison. I swear, I wanted to tell you, every single moment I spent with you but I just couldn’t. It was too ha-rd to tell and I was scared of how you’d react-
“But you didn’t tell me. That’s what matters”
“I’m sorry, Allison. plea-se, I really nee-d us to talk, there’s a lot of things I want to tell you, I’ll tell you the whole truth right from the scratch if you’d just give me a chance to-
“Okay. I’ll text you an address” she cut me off.
“Address? Wait, you’ll really let us see?” I asked, unsure.
“Sure. It changes nothing, does it? I’ll s£nd a text” she said and the call ended.
I smiled lopsidedly, she sounded cold, she must act cold too now but no matter what, this is my only opportunity and I’ve got to use it wisely. I stared at my phone screen and found a text, I cli-cked on it and it was an address. Smiling, I quic-kly dashed to the wardrobe.
I quic-kly dressed, gr@bb£d my phone and car keys and head out of the house, I got into the car and with my GPS, found my way to the address. It led to a restaurant, a big one and when I went in, it was filled with people at every angle and soft music was pla-ying from a music box at a corner.
“You must be Mr Jonas?” A lady said, staring at her phone then at me. I nodded. “You have a reservation. This way, plea-se” she led the way and without asking any question, I followed her to another section of the restaurant. It looked more beautiful, enclosed and with very few people. She led me to a table and asked me to sit, ordering a waitress to get me something to drink.
An hour alre-ady pas-sed by the time Allison walked in, she looked lean in her elegant outfit and dashingly different. I felt a great urge to rush to her and sweep her off her feet but I controlled the urge and smiled happily instead.
“Hi” I waved as she took another seat. I noticed a guy stand a little farther from behind her, he was dressed casually but from his features I could tell he was a bouncer. “I thought you would’ve picked somewhere a little more pri-vate” I said and she stared directly at me, I suddenly felt intimid@t£d and little.
“Sorry but I don’t trust you enough to go to somewhere pri-vate with you” she said, still in her cold voice. My heart cracked. It’s obvious she has no feeling for me anymore but the cold attitude? I deserved it, I know but It broke my heart twice and made me hopeless.
“I see. Is thar why you brou-ght a guard too?” I said sadly and she nodded twice.
“So-
“What happened to you?” She suddenly asked, giving me a strange look.
My brows narrowed at her question and I expected her to look away but her gaze was still on me and suddenly she stretched her hand, as if trying to reach for my face.
“How do you mean?” I asked.
“Nothing!” She suddenly replied, pushed her hand away and lowered her gaze.
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.tbc