💚💙A HIRE b©yfri£nd😍😍
❄💧A
NIGHT🌞
🌟WITH🌟
❤HIM❤
✍AUTHORESS SANDY✍
📘CHAPTER FIVE📘
🌸LINUS🌸
The time wan I wake up, Linda still dey enjoy him sleep, I come go pas-sage, nah we-tin she call that place again, eeeeeeh! Balcony!
I sit for chair come fold my legs position like say I be big man.
“Wan this boy! You no dey hear? I say may you give a glas-s of wine”
I come dey do small practice.
“Ehee! Correct! You sabi the one wan I like, I wan make you go tell Amaka say may him prepare morning food oooo! I go like to chop fried rice, him go carry two big fat of l@ps chicken add am, then come add isi Ewu (goat”s head) on t©p, you know say I no dey like fry egg, na boil one so tell am say may him add am three boil eggs”
I do my practice ooo.
Money sweet oooo! If you get money may you enjoy am because say this life wan we dey so na one life ooo!
I know say I go hummer, build fine mansion, buy cars and enjoy b©dy.
I come stand up from the chair, come dey view the whole place.
“Linus!
Linda come call me.
“Yes Ma!
I answer am as she come waka come meet me.
“Oh my gosh! Why are you like this why are you not putting something?
She come shout turn am face.
I no even remember say na bo-xer wan I wear.
“Am sorry Ma! You know say I dey like wear like this for house”
“Here is not your house! This is my house and in my room, go and put on something”
She come shout.
I go inside go wear cloth.
“Better! Breakfast is serve”
“Breakfast don re-ady alre-ady!
“Remember we are going downstairs, no more pidgin”
“I sabi that one for sure”
We come go downstairs, Mama dey dinning table alre-ady.
“Good morning Mom!
I come greeted like the gentleman wan I go be soon, come carry smile join am.
“Morning my son! How was your night?
“My night was good Mom”
“Good morning Mom!
She greet, hvg am mama and carry k!ssgive am for head.
“Morning my beautiful princess! I hope you sle-pt well?
“Yes Mom! I hope you also sle-pt well?
“Yes my dear! I was so happy yesterday that I have finally meet the man after my daughter’s heart”
She come dey smile, dey talk.
“Mom! Am so happy that you are happy for me”
Linda talk.
“Let eat our breakfast”
Breakfast for today no be for me and you, toast bre-ad with coffee and egg who that one go belly fully? Na rich man food be this one.
I carry choice so I come conquer dey chop the food.
The time come taste the coffee, I wan vomit, the thing no dey sweet at all, I know no why rich people dey them like this thing.
I manage drink am, e be like say I dey drink bitter lemon.
“Linda what’s the plan for today?
Mama come ask.
“Mom! After breakfast we will be hanging out”
“That’s good! My son in law we get to know how the town is”
She said come dey happy.
As we come done with the jui-ce,
“Mom I will like to be excuse I nee-d to have my bath”
“Okay Son!
I waka go upstairs to take bath.
🌼LINDA🌼
“My princess am so happy for you that you have finally find the man that will love and cherish you and take this relationsh!pto further and don’t the one that will dump you”
Mom sounded being so happy for me.
“Thanks Mom! Since Linus c@m£ into my life, my life has been wonderful and he is the type of a man I want in my life”
I sounded.
“My prayer every morning and night has been for God to help my daughter to see the man that will love her and value her and God answered my prayer”
“Thanks Mom!
I said and gave her a ti-ght hvg.
Few minutes later, I went to my room to shower and immediately I opened the door, Linus was coming out from the bathroom wearing only p@n-t, I turned my face immediately.
“Linus I have told you to st©p being like this in my room”
I shouted.
“But I dey come out from the bathroom nah”
“And so! What happen to your towel? Find something to cover yourself up”
I shouted.
“Am sorry!
Well, he really got a S-xy and cute b©dy, with a nice six packs, I can’t lie I love what I saw his 💪 muscular b©dy.
“Madam Linda you fit turn now”
“I don’t want this to reapeat itself again”
I said as I sat on the be-d.
“E no go happen again”
“I want to shower so excuse me”
“No wahala! May I go gist Mama small”
He said and walked out.
I undressed and went to the bathroom, twenty minutes I was done with my bath.
As I was applying cream on my b©dy, my phone rang it was Sliver.
“Hello babe! I have miss you when are you coming back?
She sounded.
“I also miss you and Pamela, I will be coming back tomorrow’s evening”
“Babe tell me! How is your hire b©yfri£nd? Is he cute, S-xy and attrac-tive with a muscular b©dy?
She sounded.
“Sliver, that gist will be when I come back to Lekki”
“I cant wait to see you and hear the fully gist how you meet this your hire b©yfri£nd, if it is from the online d@t!ng”
She sounded with laugh.
“When I come back okay, s£nd my regards to Pamela and inform her that I will be coming back tomorrow so you guys should prepare something”
I sounded and hanged the call.
Few minutes, I was done with dressing and make up, I walked down to meet Linus.
I me Mom at the sitting room watching her favorite channel Zee World.
“Mom, where is Linus?
“He meant be outside, You looking good”
“Thanks Mom! What will you like for us to get for you?
“You know what I always want”
“Suya!
I shouted with smiles.
“Correct!
She sounded with smiles.
“I will get that for you Mom! See you later”
I said and gave her a hvg.
“Take care!
Mom replied.
I walked out and met Linus starring at the swimming pool.
“Linus! Is time to go!
I shouted.
“I dey come!
He said.
He walked to me and said,
“Madam Linda! plea-se this una swimming pool nah for fancy, people no dey swim am or e get fault?
“Why did you ask?
“Since wan we come I never hear you say may we go swim or you wan swim, you no say e go dey somehow say I come for mansion wan dey like this I no enter swimming pool”
He said.
“Oh that! You want to swim?
“Correct Madam Linda! I wan swim, I wan know if swimming pool dey like river I mean wan you dey swim for river”
“That will be tomorrow before we leave okay”
“No yawa!
We went to the car and drove to the best restaurant in town.
“Oh mine! This place fine ooo! See how everywhere dey shine ooo!
He sounded.
“This is one of the best restaurant in town, their food is so delicious and tasty, I will love their food”
I said.
The waiter walked to us and ask for our orders.
“What will like to have Ma?
He asked.
“Is there goat pepper soup?
“Yes Ma!
“Okay I will like to take that with la creama wine”
I said and he wrote down my order on the list.
“What about you Sir?
“Una get soup?
“Yes Sir!
“Abeg give me better soup with better meats you come add am Hero beer on t©p, if fufu dey add the one wan dey big three for me”
He sounded.
“Okay Sir!
He make his list and walked out.
“Like seriously Linus! You want to eat garri?
“Madam Linda! You know say I no be rich persin like you, the tea wan I take no do me half way and the problem come be say nah coffee, I know no say coffee dey bitter”
“I knew it, the expression on your face prove to me that you don’t like it”
“The place wan my mama and papa born me nah swallow dey use train me, I fit eat swallow morning, afternoon and night and nothing shaking”
He sounded so funny.
I laughed and said,
“Okay, here comes your swallow”
The waiters gave us our orders.
“Oga waiter wait ooo! E be like say this garri and the soup no go do me so you go bring another one”
He sounded as he wash his hand.
“Okay Sir!
He said and walked out.
“Like seriously!
I sounded and take a spoonful of the pepper soup.
“Madam Linda you no go fit un-derstand ooo! I sabi eat well well ooo”
He said.
He collected the garri and put it on his palm, rolling the garri with his palms ma-king it to form like a ball.
“What the hell are you doing?
I asked being so shocked.
“Madam Linda, this way na the correct way to eat swallow with this kind soup, I no dey for house so no forming again may I eat my swallow dey way I like am”
He sounded so ridiculous.
“Correct!
He shouted as he swallowed the garri.
I was watching him doing his ru-bbish all due it was funny to watch him.
The waiter later brou-ght another plate of food.
He will eat and take a sip of his beer.
He gave a loudly sound of barfed which attra-cted people’s attention to our direction.
They were mumbling something probably saying where did is clas-sic lady met this bush man? Or the bush man is he okay in his right s-en-se?
“Oh my God! What type of a man is he?
“Gulder! Confirm! My belly don fully be this one!
He sounded.
I don’t know if I should be angry or find it funny.
“Linus! What is the meaning of what you just did? Did you see how people are starring at us with laughs?
I sounded.
“But Madam Linda! I know do anything nah! You know say anything my belly don full well well e go make that sound so no be me wan do am na my belly, people wan dey laugh wan laugh na because my belly come funny them nah”
He sounded so foolish and washes his hands.
The waiter c@m£ and gave us our bill, I pay him and left the balance for him.
“Thank you Ma!
He thanked with smiles.
“You don happy nah! This my madam ooo, anything she dey come make una serve am well”
Linus said.
“Sir!You don’t have problem on that one!
He said and went out.
“Can we go now?
I stood up carried my handbag as we made our way out.
Even when we were coming out, people were starring at us with a smiles on their faces.
We went to the car and drove out.
“Madam Linda! Where we dey go now?
“I nee-d to go to the ice cream shop and buy some ice cream”
“Oya nah! May we dey go”
“The act you just displa-yed at the restaurant, is that the way you used to eat?
“Madam Linda! Na my way be that ooo! If I no use that way eat swallow e no go belly full me, I dey like the way I go carry the garri roll am come make am dey like ball, e dey sweet me well well”
He sounded so funny.
The way he said it was so funny that I couldn’t st©p laughing.
“Linus, is not good okay! When you are eating outside you will to comport yourself and eat normal, okay”
“No wahala! I don hear we-tin you talk, I enjoy the food, the soup na one in town, those people sabi cook oooo, if not because say I follow you come I for no wan go again, I go dey work for them for kitchen, you know we-tin I mean nah”
He sounded.
“So that you will tasting all the food?
“Correct! I go make sure I taste am!
I laughed and laughed, he is just a funny man.
I got to the ice cream shop, brou-ght some ice creams then went to the barbecue that’s the suya shop.
“I like the ice cream ooo! You know say I never taste ice cream before”
“Are you damn serious!
“Why I go lie nah, no be person wan get money dey go buy ice cream nah, the one I fit buy dey this 50 50 naria yogurt aboki people dey sell around”
“Okay! From now on, you will st©p buying that your kind of yogurt, it will be ice cream”
We c@m£ down from the car and walked to the barbecue shop.
“You wan buy suya?
He asked happily.
“Yes! Mom want it”
I replied with smiles.
“Me, I like suya die, I no dey carry suya pay ooo!
He sounded.
“Even Mom too! She likes suya so much but as for I don’t find it enjoyable”
“That means me and Mama dey for the same sh!p”
We brou-ght the barbecue and drove to the house.
“We are at home, no more your pidgin language”
“I sabi that one well well”
We c@m£ down from the car and walked inside.
“Mom! We are back!
I said as I dropped the barbecue on the dinning.
Mom c@m£ out from the kitchen, I guess she is preparing a delicious meal, am perceiving the aroma.
“Welcome my daughter!
She said and gave me a hvg.
“Thanks Mom!
“Welcome Son! I hope you enjoy yourself?
She asked and also gave him a hvg.
“Yes Mom! I over enjoyed myself today”
He sounded with smiles.
“Okay! You guys should go up and shower dinner will soon be serve”
Mom said.
“Okay Mom!
We both said.
We went up to the room, Linus excuse himself to the balcony so that I can undress and shower.
Some minutes later, I c@m£ out from the bathroom, worn my night dress.
“Am done! You can come inside”
I lied down pressing my phone while he went to have his bath.
Some minutes later, done with the shower dressed up and went to the dinning for dinner.
I decided to eat some fruits due to I was alre-ady filled with the ones I had a while ago.
Linus ate small quantity of food and also ate some suya.
We cracked some jokes before we went to be-d.
“Madam Linda! This one you dey like this, we-tin happen?
He asked as the moment he noticed my mood.
“Nothing! Just bored!
I sounded.
“Bored! Nob©dy dey dey boring where I dey, the why your face come dey like this, may I tell you some jokes”
He sounded.
“You can tell jokes?
“I sabi joke well well, I can tell joke pas-s this comedians, AY and BasketMouth, the two no reach me for half wan e come for joke”
He sounded.
“Wow! Come up and give me some jokes”
I sounded as.
He c@m£ and sat at the be-d.
“My first joke go like this, You go buy rice with meat, plantain and come add am egg, the seller will still come ask “Bros, e do finish ?”
No ma, may you add ice-block, crocodile ton-gue and mosquito l@p”
He sounded.
I laughed and laughed,
“You are so funny!
I sounded still laughing.
“I sabi tell jokes well well, you go laugh and tire, see this one,
The time wan you wan enter for church, and you go hear the pastor saying “Brethren, let us pray, the demon is about to come into our midst”
“Oh my God! Linus you are indeed a funny person”
I laughed uncontrollably.
“You never hear something, you go laugh and tire, may I yawa you with this one nah,
15. Saving money for this Nija dey ha-rd ooo, I swear, You dey jejely saving your money in peace and come get call from village saying *”s£nd money for hospital, grandmama swallow razor”
He sounded.
“This one rip off my ribs ooo! You can make someone’s sad mood to change”
I laughed and laughed.
“I tell you say I sabi tell jokes pas-s AY and BasketMouth”
“This one I wan tell you now go mad you, e go sweet you mad”
He said.
“I can’t wait to hear it”
I said with laughs.
“E go like this, l thought say I don seen am finish until i come see an Albino
ru-bbing bleaching cream,Fada laud!!! is like she wan dey bright pas-s her future”
I laughed and laughed uncontrollably, rolling on the be-d and all of a sudden I started coughing.
“Madam Linda! You dey okay!
“Am fine!
I sounded still laughing and coughing.
“No Ma! You dey cough bad bad! May I get you water”
I was coughing badly and uncontrollably.
“Here may you drink!
He said as he help me to take the water.
“You go dey fine!
He said tapping me on my backside.
As he was giving me the water, our eyes meet eyebrow to eyebrow, as I was looking into his eyes I saw myself falling for him, I felt this bound of love all over me, he looks so handsome and he is such a caring person, I felt like to give him a k!ss.
“You go dey okay!
He said calling me off from my thoughts.
“Thank you Linus for the awesome and funny jokes, you made my night so enjoyable, I appreciate it”
I said and the cough as calmed down.
“You be my madam so anything for you”
“Good night!
I said as I lied down.
“Good night too! May I keep this water in case you wan drink am again”
He said and dropped the bottle water at the side stool.
🌻LINUS🌻
The time our eyes come jam together come make my b©dy dey do me somehow like say I don dey fall for am, Madam Linda dey beautiful and S-xy but I no be him type, I no fit wear shoe wan no be my size beside she self no go fall for person wan dey like me, she go like fall for person wan sabi, person wan dey rich like am and no be person dey mumu, who dash monkey banana for this kind love, abeg may I lie down sleep this kind love na fever one.
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