A FATHER’S PAIN
WRITTEN BY MICHAEL DOKOSI
My heart must have skipped a beat. It was hard to believe that Nora had said Peter and Pamela were my biological children. I thought I had not heard right.
“I don’t get you,” I said.
“Honey, Peter and Pamela are your biological children. I lied when I said you were not their father. I bribed the doctor who conducted the test to present a false result to the court. I also bribed the fertility centre to give you a result that will convince you that you are not fertile enough to be a father. I am sorry,” she said.
“Nora! Why?” I asked as my heart began to beat wildly.
“Honey, I am sorry. I am truly very sorry. When you said you will divorce me, I became scared because I did not want you to take the children away from me. I had to do anything to make sure you do not take them away from me,” she said.
She was crying. However, I cared less about her tears. I was rather left speechless by the callousness of the woman I had called my wife for many years. She had not only cheated on me with my own friend but had done everything she could to deny me my children – my biological children!
“Nora, you are wicked! You are a Jezebel! In fact, you are not fit to be the mother of our children. You are the devil incarnate!” I screamed at her.
“I know Isaac, I know! I know I do not deserve to be your wife! I know I behaved badly! Please forgive me. I beg you,” she cried.
“Forgive you? You think it is as simple as that? Do you know the trauma you have put me through? Are you aware of the pain you have subjected me to? Are you aware I could have died as a result?” I asked her.
I had driven off the road and parked the car. I did not even notice that I was trembling all over until later.
“Isaac, I have sinned against you, God and our children. All I want you to do now is to forgive me. I am very sorry. Please! I am sincerely sorry. Forgive me. Isaac, forgive me,” she continued in tears.
Then I asked her why she has now called me to make the confession. She could not tell me why though I knew the answer; her lawyers had been served our appeal and they knew the game was up. My estranged wife was therefore calling to confess because she knew that she would be jailed if the court heard the case.
“Nora, I don’t know what to tell you now though forgiveness is out of the question. We have gone back to court to have the earlier ruling of the court set aside. So, let us meet in court,” I said.
She burst into tears again, pleading with me not to drag her to court. She said she would be jailed if the case goes to court.
“Isaac, you know it! Please! I beg of you. I am on my knees. I am begging you in the name of God and our children. For the sake of our children don’t do this to me,” she pleaded.
“Were you thinking about the children when you cheated on me and in no place but my own house and our marital bed? Were you thinking about the children when you tried to deny them their father?” I asked her.
My questions were like a hot knife slicing through her heart. I could hear her wince as I asked her the questions.
“Isaac! Honey! That is why I say I am sorry. I know I have behaved badly. Please forgive me. I beg you,” she pleaded once more.
“Nora, don’t worry. You would not be jailed. Have you forgotten that you have one of the best lawyers who will make sure you do not go to jail?” I asked, the sarcasm obvious.
“Honey, please. You know no lawyer can save me from going to jail,” she said. Then there was a pause. I did not say anything either. Then she spoke again. Her voice was calm and resolved.
“I have to take my life then. I cannot go to jail. Whatever it is, forgive me and always remind the children I loved them,” she said. Then she hung up.
As much as I hated my wife for what she had done to me, I did not want her to die because I did not want my children to loose their mum. My love for my children was stronger than my hatred for her. So, I tried to call her back, but she would not pick the call. After trying a couple of times, I gave up and sent her a text message.
“Your decision to take your life shows that you are still a heartless woman. No wonder you want to take your life and leave your children without a mother. You know what that is called? Selfishness. Rot in hell.”
I felt good sending her the text message. Then I got my car going again, continuing the journey to my hospital. Minutes later, she phoned back but I did not answer her call. My phone rung over and over again but I refused to pick her call. Then she sent me a text message. I scrolled to the text messages part of my phone and pressed the button on the inbox. It opened to reveal her message to me. It read.
“I am not selfish. But I will not allow myself to be locked up for years in prison”.
I decided to ignore her text message. In the meantime, I was happy to be back at work. My colleagues were excited to see me back. Bubbling with energy, I began work, attending to patients, a few of whom I knew already.
While attending to a patient, I saw that Nora had sent more text messages. I decided not to read them; I simply deleted them. Then I continued working. Five hours later, my schedule for the day came to an end. I got into my car and headed home. I was half way home when I received a call from a number I did not know. Believing it was my wife, I refused to answer it. My phone kept ringing till I reached home. After it had rung for sometime, I decided to answer it. As soon as I did, my son’s voice came through loud and clear.
“Daddy!” he shouted.
“Peter!” I responded, my heart melting immediately. I loved my son and daughter so much I knew I would not mind dying for them.
“Daddy, please forgive Mummy, okay. She is sorry” my son said. His statement took me by surprise.
“Daddy, Mummy said she had done some very bad things to you so the police are going to lock her up for a long time. She says if you forgive her, they won’t lock her up. Daddy, please forgive her. We love her. We cannot live without her” my son said.
My little boy’s comment pierced through my heart. It made me hate my wife with passion. What she was doing, as far as I was concerned, was blackmail. She knew I had a soft spot for my children so she was using them to get me to let her off the hook.
“Let me talk to your mother” I said, my voice trembling with anger.
“Mummy is not here” my son replied. I did not know whether to believe him or not. Nora was a smart person. She was using one person she knew I would listen to.
“Listen, Peter, your Mummy has been very bad to me. If you grow up, you will understand it…I cannot just…..hmmmmm….she has….”
I did not know what to say. I was choking on my words. While I was angry with my wife, I was also not prepared to take my son through any psychological trauma. So, I was finding it very difficult to explain the issue to him.
“Daddy, we beg you. She is our mother. We love her so much. Forgive her. She would not do it again. You always said Jesus said we should always forgive. So why don’t you want to forgive her?” he said.
My son had cornered me. He was a smart kid. I knew I had to play the whole thing carefully or he would never believe me again. I began to crack my brains on how to proceed with my son.
…………..to be continued…………
A father’s pain Episode 32 & 33
A FATHER’S PAIN