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Episode 12
*****
The gate opened and mummy pastor
moved to the window to peep.
“Its him” she said and turned back to
the be-d.
She picked the divorce form, put it
inside a large brown envelope and
moved to the door.
“Mummy, plea-se don’t do this to us.
plea-se” I cried out loud and she looked
back at me.
“Just watch! Shush your mouth! ” She
exclaimed and I bec@m£ mum, still
crying.
She opened the door and we followed,
ti-ptoeing.
As she des£nded down the stairs, we
hid behind the balcony and watched
from up the stairs.
“Dearie, what was that call about?
Exactly what?” He asked as he dropped
his briefcase.
Mummy pointed the brown envelope
into his face.
“Exactly this” she said.
Pastor collected it, checked and went
down on his knees.
“Don’t do this to my ministry plea-se.
plea-se don’t!” He raised his hands
towards her and she pushed them
away.
“That’s it! The real you! You are very
selfish! As selfish as anything! His
ministry first. His wife could die for all
he cared but his ministry shouldn’t” she
was almost screaming
“But would you love the ministry to
die? Why are you talking like this?
Why?”
“Your ministry was long dead dearie!”
Mummy shouted loudly
“What!” He exclaimed loudly too,
charging at her defensively.
“You want to beat me? plea-se talk to
me Kelvin! You really wanted to?” She
asked in a shaky voice.
“God forbids that I do that. I can never
l@ymy hands on you. I can never beat
you”
“Is this the first time you would beat
me? You have beaten me on several
occasions hon. You have” her voice
shook
“You’re talking strangely. First, you said
my ministry had long failed. Then, you
said I had beaten you. What is it?”
“Your ministry failed when your
marriage failed Kelvin! You ministry
failed when Gem and ru-by started
smoking, drinking and clubbing. Your
ministry failed when Rose, your only
daughter started delving into
prostitution as if it was her profession.
Your ministry had long long failed
Kelvin!”
She started crying as Pastor stood up
from his kneeling posture.
“What are you saying?” He said again as
he sat down.
“You have beaten me several times. You
beat me when you moved out of this
house and rented another ap@rtment
outside.”
“That was to give you privacy”
“What stupid privacy is that? I ask
again. Talk! What stupid privacy is
nee-ded between a husband and a wife?
What?”
Pastor looked shocked
“Did you just say stupid? Did you just
say so?” He asked
“Yes I did… Because I am mad! I did
because I no longer use my br@in. You
s£nt all children abroad against my
wish.wasn’t that a hvge sl@p?”
“I only wanted the best for them”
“And who says the best is only abroad?
Since we didn’t agree and you just took
laws into your hands, treating my
opinion as trash, it was a sl@p”
“I will change dear. Just tear this form.
Tear it. God hates divorce!”
“Yes he does! But the separation for
how many years now would be called
what? When last did we meet as
husband and wife? When last did you
say you love me? When? Exactly
when?”
Pastor’s head was bowed low.
“You’re simply a wicked, ins-en-sitive
pretentious, bad hypocrite!” She
exclaimed again.
“I have been a good wife to you. I had
obeyed and submitted to you all day
long. What have I gotten in return?
Heartache, hate, bitterness, sickness
and death!”
She fell on the cushion and cried to
stupor!
Pastor knelt beside her and they both
wept.
“Dear, I didn’t know you were hurting.
I felt that I was the only one that felt
that our marriage was in shambles. I
knew something was wrong but I
couldn’t place it” he cried.
“You tried prayers too?” She asked
defiantly.
“Yes I did but I gave up when it seemed
like I was failing and all seemed worst. I
will change dear. Give me another
chance” he cried.
“Sign the paper” she cried on
“Dear, no! I still love you” the pastor
said.
She held his shoulders and shook him.
“Sign it!” Her voice rose the more.
“No love! I will make it work again! I
will rock you in my arms like a baby
and carry you upstairs when you fall
asleep. I will go back to the way we
started before. I will sing for you, bring
back our children, we will have a very
large and lasting reunion. Just trust me
again dear. plea-se”
“Empty promises!” She exclaimed.
He shook his head vigorously.
“Not empty this time around. I am
serious. Ok, any goal without a deadline
is as good as dead. Give me a week. All
would be new again” he said, going on
his knees again.
“And I wouldn’t be dead by then? She
asked
“Dead? God forbid!” He exclaimed
hurriedly
“Put it in writing” she said
“That?…” He asked looking at her
intently
“All these promises you have made.
Write them down because after a week,
it would be all over if there is still no
change”
He unZi-pped his bag, picked a paper
and a pen and scribbled something
down. He gave it to her.
She nodded affirmatively
“Sign here” she said again and he
obliged.
“All because of your ministry shae?”
She asked again and he shook his head.
“Not totally… Because of both my
family and our ministry” he said,
standing up and straightening up.
“Where are you going to?” She asked,
looking up at her
“To pack my load from that house. I am
coming back home” he said, moving to
the door.
Mummy pastor smiled.
He looked back at her.
“Would you love to go with me?” He
asked and mummy smiled
“To prove to me that my husband has
changed?”
“Wifey, I promise to be a better man,
husband and father. I really do mean it”
he said and as he looked at her, he
picked up the divorce paper and to-re it
to pieces.
“We wouldn’t be nee-ding this.” He said
and I said a bug amen! in my mind.
I loved the style everything took.
It was cool!
As pastor pu-ll-ed her close to himself,
his arm round her n£¢k, mummy
looked back at us and smiled.
Then, I saw the tears!
Oh my God!
What expression was that?
Sadness?
Happiness?
What was running throu-gh her mind?
That it was too late to mend?
Was she going to die now that we can
see silver lining overshadowing the
dark clouds?
God plea-se intervene again!
Nothing is impossible for you!
And thanks for this sudden turnaround.
I was happy.
I stood up from the stooping position
from which I had watched the drama
from upstairs and I met Tony’s open
smile.
I felt bu-tterflies in my belly.
The space between us was narrow and I
inhaled his scenting shaving cream.
I took a closer look at the face of the
man of my dreams- all the contours
and all.
From his full eyebrows, to his very
white eyeba-lls, the fleshy nose… I could
see the nostrils… Hisl-ips.. Oh my!
“Hmmmm… Flee all youthful lvst o!”
He exclaimed, still in that position
I c@m£ back to my s-en-ses.
This guy is too blunt!
I summoned courage
“Why were you standing so close?” I
asked
“Why were you looking into my face
intently. You wanted to commit sin?”
He asked again and blood rushed into
my ears.
This guy wouldnt kill me with this
outrageous level of his bluntness o!
As I turned to go, I noticed the smile on
his face.
It was somehow.
“What is it again!? Why are you gazing
so de-eply!?” I asked too.
The smile was still on.
“Precious” he called out and I looked on
“What?” I almost shouted
“If it’s not the candlelight and balloons,
what style do you love since you hate
surprises” He asked, the contemptuous
smile still on his face.
… and I died!
Simply died!
My ears, heart, mind, soul, spirit, all
st©pped!
Episode 13
The rain just refused to st©p!
As I l@ystill on my very ha-rd and
comfortable be-d with my eyes shut
firmly, I felt that strong, muscular palm
on my head.
It was so warm.
It felt so warm that I never wanted it to
be taken away from me.
I wanted it to t©uçh every p@rts of my
b©dy- my face, my arms, my big belly,
my legs…even my heart if possible!
It felt so good to have my husband
back.
It felt really good!
“The Lord bless you and keep you. May
the Lord make His light to shine upon
you…”
My husband prayed on and on.
Should I just pretend like this while he
prayed on?
Or should I open my eyes and smile at
him saying that I heard and felt his
t©uçh?
“Oh my God! Oh no my Lord!” he cried
out still
What was that about?
Was he m0@n ing?
Was he crying or lamenting?
What was the matter?
Should I open my eyes?
I feared that he was seeing a vision and
that opening my eyes would disrupt the
flow so I kept mum, praying silently.
“I shall never lose my wife…ah no
Lord! Oh God!” he labored on in prayer
and my heart started beating fast.
What was the problem?
God was speaking to him?
A week had alre-ady pas-sed from the
two weeks ultimatum I had given him
before the ‘divorce’…and he was doing
prettily well in his remedial efforts.
I wished something could extend the
years I would live on earth.
I had st©pped all medicine and even
chemo had been placed on a halt.
He was changing- he held my hands
while we prayed; he prepared food for
me, he looked into my eyes so de-eply as
if to re-ad my thought (the p@rt I loved
most)and he allowed me to fall asleep
in his arm while we watched the new
MZFM TV station on CONSAT(I
wondered if he never realized how
light I felt)
Of a truth, a man does not know the
value of a thing until he loses it!
If nothing, – if I was going to die, I
wanted it to be in the arms of the first
lover of mine because that would be
the greatest joy of my life.
The rashes on my b©dy had increa-sed
and I felt very pained.
When am I going to be healed from this
Leukemia oh Lord?
Is there no longer any balm in Gilead?
Heal me oh Lord and I promise to be a
better wife- a better mother!
As his hands moved over my face, I felt
life surge throu-gh my veins- the hands
were trembling seriously
What was happening to him?
Was he crying?
“Lord Jesus, I have really been a bad
husband and father. I have missed it.
Forgive me Lord”
I felt tears drop to my b©dy and I was
tem-pted to really open my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I asked in a husky
tone. He was holding my hand
prayerfully and I sighed
His eyes were really teary and his eyes
were red!
“I suddenly realized that you are
growing old and I am pained!” he cried
the more and tears ran down my face.
What a realization!
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked again
and he cried louder the more.
He covered his face with his hands and
wept bitterly
I cried uncontrollably too
If my frame alone could make him cry
this much, what would the revelation
of my pres£nt health state do to him?
What?…exactly what?!
But why must he come to his s-en-ses
just now oh dear Redeemer?
“You look so lean. Your skin looks so
rou-gh and what are these sp©ts? You
bald head has little stands of grey hair
and they even look weak! When did you
become this old? When did I become
this ins-en-sitive? I never knew! Oh my
goodness!” he cried further, sitting on
the ground with a great thump
I tried to laugh in order to console him
but cries were my portion!
Why was life being unfair to me oh
Lord?
“Are you sick? Is there anything I don’t
know? Anything at all? plea-se tell me. I
really do want to know. plea-se”
He looked into my face intently and my
heart shattered into pieces
“Oh my husband” I exclaimed as h0t
tears ran down my suddenly h0t face.
This was just too late!
“Tell me plea-se. plea-se do” he said
again, squee-zing my shoulders softly.
“Yes, I am dying” I dropped the words
and he shut his eyes firmly while tears
streamed down his cheeks.
There was no retort of any kind!
Where was the man who always
preached faith at any slightest headache
of mine?
“Oh my God! Oh my God!! Oh my God!!!
Why was I busy tending to your flock
without…oh my God! Who am I to
question you Lord? Of course I failed
you!” his anguish continued.
That was so true!
My husband’s major spiritual gifts were
knowledge and discernment but he
never for once knew nor did he discern
what his heartthrob was going throu-gh.
He never did!
“Oh God! Why? Why? Oh why?” he
lamented, sitting on the be-d and
ban-ging his legs on the floor f0rç£fully.
I smiled bitterly.
He turned abruptly and held my hands.
“Is it cancer?” he asked and I looked
de-ep at him.
“Your spiritual antenna is sharp again.”
I said as my head asked for lack of tears
to shed.
My veins thumped almost loudly.
“My father! Cancer?” he exclaimed
“Cancer!” I mimicked him and he
looked at me intently again
“Blood Cancer?” he asked as-suredly
and I nodded bitterly.
Why was it now that his gift of
knowledge is at work?
Why could he not sight this earlier on?
How could he not foresee?
Why my Lord?
“I was sharp-eyed to the matters of my
church members but I was blind…I was
ins-en-sitive…I was totally dead to my…
oh Lord! My wife! My beautiful,
supportive wife…the wife of my youth!
Oh my God!” he broke down into
another fit of tears.
He was totally broken!
“And I have watched ‘Busy but Guilty’
but the Mount Zion Ministry
oooo….how did I fail? How on earth did
I fail? What unguarded moment of
mine did the devil use against me oh
Lord?” he cried bitterly.
I sat up from my slee-ping position and
looked across the room at the wall
clock.
“Dearie, it’s still very early in the
morning. It’s just two o’clock. Let’s
sleep plea-se.” I tried to say.
There were no other words in my
mouth to utter.
He was crying – his hefty, muscular
frame shook to the extent that it scared
me.
I hope he wasn’t going to break
“My dear, the two weeks ultimatum you
gave me for the divorce was the time
given to you by the doctor to live
right?” he asked, his eyes looking
fierce.
I looked at him as he spoke on.
That’s my husband!
The one that sees what an ordinary
man cannot!
But it’s too late!
“Yes. So, by the doctor’s dictate, I have
just few more days to go” I said again
and he stood up.
“The doctor’s dictate is not the Lord’s
dictate!” he almost screamed. He
walked to the wardrobe and checked
throu-gh. He moved to the shelves, then
to the table.
He picked up his Bible…tears ran down
still.
“My God is never late!” he repeated as
if he was singing- his voice shaking
really bad!
I looked on at him.
I wished he was there when I was
battling with this illness at the
inception.
Probably I would have clung to his faith
and fought this cancer with all the
breath in me.
But….it’s too late…just too late!
“My God still has spare p@rts” he said
as he wore his sli-ppers.
His words reiterated in my ears but I
had great doubts.
I was supposed to have the bone
marrow transplant and much radiation
with chemo but I didn’t do it.
I had heard that it would effect, real,
noticeable changes in my b©dy and I
didn’t want him to notice- or the
members of the church either!
He c@m£ close to me, held my face
gently but firmly.
I lost my stance and flashed back
That was how he used to hold me then
our love still burnt…and I really loved
it.
But instead of a pas-sion-driven
husband, I could see a desperately
compas-sionate father and pastor on a
mission.
He planted a quic-k pe-ck on myl-ips —-it
was nice!
“I will be back in the next 21 days.
Prepare for me Pounded yam, Egusi
soup with as-sorted stuffs and freshly
squee-zed squash jui-ce by you.” He said
as he clutched his bible to his che-st.
“21 days? After 3 weeks?” I asked him
Did he know what he was saying?
I have few days left
He was leaving me again
Why oh Lord?
I nee-d him best this time and he was
leaving again
Tears rolled down my face and he bent
down beside me. He held my knees.
“We will go to the USA to visit the kids
thereafter. You hear?” he asked again
and stood up.
He turned his back at me and cleared
his throat
“Forgive me for my past ins-en-sitivity”
he said and my head got swollen the
more and I started real, loud, dry cry.
“I will go and I will meet you safely.
pu-ll yourself together and be of good
cheer. I love you” he said as he walked
towards the door.
Was he crying again?
The door opened and then, it was
slammed loudly!
He didn’t even take any cloth with him.
Where was he going to?
Didn’t he know that this case was a
very difficult one?
I knew it wasn’t difficult for God but I
still feel it was difficult!
Blood cancer!
Acute one at that!
But as the door slammed when he went
out, something like a scre-w fell from
my che-st and I wondered what it was.
I looked around for the scre-w but it
was nowhere to be found!
I felt somehow…indescribable!
Was it peace like a river?
Was it the love that emanated from a
long-gone husband?
Was it sadness?
Was it the brokenness of my heart that
he left me again?
I feel different! – I felt like shouting
these three words to the air so that
everyone could hear me.
>>>>It Continues still<<<<