BEING ALONE
EPISODE 15
Gospel sprang up from the be-d, his hvge member shrinking immediately. The lady with him stood up from the be-d, dangling her b©dy which was full of fat and headed towards the bathroom. Kamsi wondered how her brother found the lady attrac-tive. Gospel quic-kly picked his bo-xer from the floor and wore it, not taking his eyes away from the girls.
Kamsi walked into the room not taking her eyes away from her brother.
Kamsi: I’m sorry bro. We were looking for answers and I think we’ve found it. We’ll just go back to the main house.
Kamsi turned and looked at me. I was still recovering from my shock but I could see her struggle with the tears.
She walked past me but I was still rooted to the ground, looking at someone I loved.
Words can’t explain how I felt. I wanted the day to start afresh so I wouldn’t follow Kamsi to Gospel’s quarter. You’ll agree with me that its better for your spouse to break up with you than catching him or her in the act.
I felt so weak that my knees were now unable to carry me.
He didn’t say a word to me neither did he move from the sp©t. I weakly carried myself out of his house and headed to the main house.
If Gospel could do this to me, then, anyb©dy can hurt me and I’ll survive it.
I got to my room and la-id down, pondering over my life and where I had gone wrong. A knock [email protected]£ and I asked the person in.
Gospel: Amanda.
I turned immediately, staring at Gospel who was now a different version of the man I had seen some minutes before. He had tears in his eyes and his face was greased with sadness.
Me: Sit down plea-se.
He sat down beside me and crossed his hands.
Me: I’m sorry for barging into your [email protected] without prior notice. I….
Gospel: No plea-se. Your words would make me feel worse than I’m feeling now. You’re such a nice person and you don’t deserve what I did to you.
Me: Why? You prefer plumpy women, I’ll be that for you,or, you don’t like my colour, I’ll do something about it. Tell me what you like and I’ll make myself suitable for you.
He held my hands and k!$$£d them. Tears ran down my eyes and I thought it best to let them flow.
Gospel: You’re perfect just the way you are.
Me: Then why will you do these to me? Thought you said you loved me? Why then will you choose to hurt me in this manner? Avoiding me wasn’t enough for you,then you started bringing them into the house. Why?
Gospel: I couldn’t continue anymore. I….
Me: Continue? With what?
Gospel: I’m sorry but I think its time I tell you.
He stood up from the be-d and walked two steps away from me. I joined him, eager to know what the problem was, what our problem was.
Gospel: The [email protected]£ Amanda. I couldn’t bring myself to be with a victim. You experienced hell and I know without being told that it will affect our relationsh!p. I’ve seen victims, I’ve heard there stories. They don’t go beyond k!sses and memories of the incident will cloud there heads and they’ll start seeing you like you mean harm for them. They….
I broke down automatically, crying my heart out and telling him all sorts of useless jargons I could think of.
Me: You’re wicked Gospel. You’re cursed. How can you say that to me? How can you say that in my pres£nce? Did you give it time? Did you try it out. You back up your stupid exploits using my worst experience as your excuse, ru-bbing it to my face that I can never stand a relationsh!p. Gospel you’re heartless and mean. I curse the day my heart fell in love with you. Get out. Get out of here now.
Gospel: Amanda cal……..
Me: Don’t Amanda me. Don’t you dare try to mention my name with those cursed mouth of yours. I curse you Gospel. You said I can’t stand a relationsh!p, Gospel, same thing will go for you. You shall never be good for anyone. You…
Gospel: Amanda st©p it, you’re angry and saying all these words. St©p it now.
Me: Get out.
I began to push him before he figured out I meant it then he left on his own.
I locked my door and flung myself on the ground, crying my heart out and cursing Gospel for the rest of his life.
I remained on that position even after I got tired of crying. Someone kept on knocking on my door but I refused to get up,let alone opening the door. It was the ringing of my phone that got me up and I went and picked it. It was Mrs Kalu.
Mrs k: Amanda.
Me: Yes mummy
Mrs k: Open the door sweetheart. I’ve being here for sometime now.
Me; I’m sorry mum but I really wish to be on my own.
Mrs k: I know. I won’t take much of your time I promise.
Me: Okay.
I dropped my phone and opened the door for her and she hvgged me. It opened doors to the tears I thought had finished. She let me cry for a while before she pu-ll-ed me into the room.
Mrs k: You don’t know my child, so many people long to be in your shoes right now. A lot of people out there have so many problems which are worse than yours, yet, they won’t look like it. There are lots of girls your age who live there lives without having a b©yfri£ndtill they are re-ady to settle down. You can’t be here,crying out your eye ba-lls because your b©yfri£ndis with another lady who I’m sure you’re prettier than, I’m also sure you’re more intelligent than her. It shows he’s clas-sless and has lack of good taste. You’re beautiful my child and your destiny is in your own hands. You’ll be whatever God wants you to be only if you take it with faith. The word of the Lord even said it, that the kingdom of God suffereth violence and violent people taketh it by f0rç£. I don’t know why you’re crying when you have a life that is ahead of you. Gospel shouldn’t be your priority now. Your priority should be your education. You should know that with education, many men would come knocking on your door and it’ll be your time to choose whoever you want to be with. With Education, good one, you’ll be able to shut the likes of Gospel. My child,I won’t deceive you. Think about all I’ve said here and pick the ones you want to pick. By the time I’m back from London,I want to see a new you.
She stood up to leave and I also stood up.
Mrs k: Dinner is seven pm on the dot. You should look your best. Kenneth’s girlfriend is coming
I smiled and gave her a nod.
Me: Thank you mum.
She hvgged me before leaving the room. I looked at my table clock and it was past five. I quic-kly washed my face and started going to Kamsi’s room. I met Kenneth at the hall way and he hvgged me ti-ght.
Ken: I knew you were a strong las-s.
Me: I’m not
I managed to give him a smile.
Ken: You are. You just haven’t noticed it.
Me: Okay. Okay. So you didn’t tell me that Rose was coming around. Not fair.
Ken: Oh. I’m sorry. She told me this afternoon as well. We didn’t plan it.
Me: Hmmm. Okay o. So you both are now official? Since mum is now involved?
Ken: Yeah!
Have I told you guys about Kenneth? I’m sorry. He’s what I will describe as breath takingly handsome. He’s chocolate in complexion, a graduate of Madonna and he’s a lawyer. He’s just 24 and was called to bar few weeks after Emeka’s death. Since then, he’s being one popular guy in and outside the neighbourhood. He’s tall and has a baritone voice. His nose is pointed, hisl-ips are small and he loves to pout them,his eyes are S-xy and blue. He also has this side burns which he leaves bushy always, saying that nob©dy would love to work with a small boy, but his beards make him older. Mrs Kalu is indeed blessed with beautiful children with good manners………… all except Gospel.
Me: Wish you guys the best. I nee-d to go to Kamsi.
Ken: Alright then. See you guys later.
I walked away and finally got myself in Kamsi’s room. She was speaking with someone on the phone so I sat down and waited. She spoke for some minutes and hung up.
Kamsi: BF
I smiled at her and she [email protected]£ and sat down beside me.
Me: Was that Ted?
Kamsi: Nope. Most handsome guy, ESUT, campus one chapter.
Me: Hmmm. This year?
Kamsi: Yes.
Me: Okay. So I heard Rose is coming for dinner.
Kamsi: Don’t mind Ken. I don’t even know what I’m going to wear.
Me: Hello! She’s a lady not a guy. A Lady like you and I. So it doesn’t matter what we wear.
Kamsi; I know. But haven’t you noticed she looks like someone from a rich family?
Me: Ain’t we rich too? Just that we don’t dress over clas-sy for school.
Kamsi: You’re wrong. She wears designers o.
I laughed and she stared at me.
Me: Next thing now,you’ll start asking mum to order our clothes from London or China or maybe task Ken to take us out. This clothes in your wardrobe, have you finished wearing them?
Kamsi: You’re amazing. We’re going shopping by weekend. I’m alre-ady sure that mummy will get us something once she travels. For now, let’s talk about something else.
I told her my conversation with Gospel and mummy and she supported mum. Saying that I nee-d to take my mind away from Gospel and move on, that I should learn to be strong. She said one thing that made me determined, “if you fight this and move on, you’ll find out that Gospel was never meant to be [email protected] of your life. Move on sis, we don’t have enough time in the world to start crying over guys who don’t think twice before breaking us. Use the time you have now to the fullest.
EPISODE 16
Dinner was re-ady before 6:30. Kenneth had stepped out of the house to only God knows where. Kamsi and I dressed up with a little make up and sat down in the sitting room, chatting away with our phones. A honk outside got us rushing out of the house as an ash coloured highlander drove into the compound. Ever seen these Nollywood movies where the servants would be standing in a queue, waiting for the prince or princess to arrive or get down from the car? Lol. That was the scene being pla-yed now. Only difference was that we weren’t servants and we looked too good to be one.
We watched as Rose got down from the car and we gushed shamelessly at her beauty. She was dressed in a short pink floral go-wn, wearing a gold plated heel which was about five inches. Her handbag marched her heels and she looked like a celebrity going for a ph0toshoot.
Rose and Kenneth had met on badoo the year Rose had written waec. Ken was in law school then. So many calls, chats, video and audio calls kept them going for a while but just like many other online [email protected]!ng, distance didn’t help them grow so they broke up in a couple of months. Now, they were back together and I prayed silently that they work out now.
We took turns to hvg Rose and she was all smiles.
Kamsi: Welcome to our house girlfriend.
Rose: Thank you. Your house is so beautiful.
Kamsi and I thanked her before we moved into the house.
We three sat down and started discussing about school and matters that concerns girls before mum [email protected]£ downstairs.
Perfect wife material…..She stood up immediately and waited for mum to get to her.
Rose: Good evening mum.
OMG! Mum alre-ady?
Mrs k: Good evening my dear. Sit down
Rose sat down and mum took a seat beside her. They began to talk, with mother trying to know everything about Roses’ background in one night. We excused ourselves and went to make the table, silently gossiping about mum’s likeness for good girls.
Rose was from a family of four; her mother, her father, her elder brother and herself. They lived in old GRA. Her father is a retired soldier while her mum is a lecturer at IMT (institute of management and technology, Enugu). Her elder brother owns a construction company in portHarcourt and he’s still single.
Just before we [email protected]£ to call them to the table, Kenneth and Gospel [email protected]£ in. We all went to the dinning and Kamsi served us with the favourite meal of the house; bre-adfruit which was well garnished with smoked fishes and meats. We ate quietly (who dares to talk in the dinning while mum was around?). Gospel kept on stealing glances at me and I also fought with myself not to pour my food on him. While everyone had dessert, I excused myself and went to the sitting room with my own plate.
I know he is surprised that I’m over what he had said to me. I’m also surprised myself. But those words he spoke, everyone of them is locked somewhere de-ep down my heart. Like mummy had said, I had sealed the [email protected] of my mind where he existed. I would focus more on my education and once I get to the level I want to be, I’ll open up myself and unleash the same quantity of sorrow to him.
30 minutes later, we were all sitting together in the sitting room, chartering amongst ourselves.
Mrs k: Rose darling
Rose: Yes mum
Mrs k: I beg to take my leave now. I’ll be having a hectic day tomorrow.
Rose: No problem mum. It was nice meeting you and dinner was awesome.
They exchanged hvgs and we watched mum go upstairs.
Ken: So, I also beg to leave with my girlfriend now.
I giggled audibly but Kamsi won’t take any of it.
Kamsi: See this man. As if she’s not our friend, we’ll just take her from you now now.
Rose: Of course. Ken, these girls have more rights to me you know?
Me: Exactly. So do the right thing Ken.
He shrugged his shoulders and opened his palm like he doesn’t have a choice.
Ken: Okay. plea-se girls, can I have some time with my girlfriend?
Kamsi: That’s more like it.
Ken helped Rose up and they walked upstairs. I got busy with my phone and didn’t notice when Kamsi left and which direction she went but I looked up to show her a picture but I only met Gospel, sitting just where he had being.
I stood up and made for the stairs;
Gospel: Can we talk for some minutes plea-se?
I turned around and he was standing up.
Me: Did you talk to me now?
Surprisingly, my voice was calm
He [email protected]£ close to me and held my hands. It reminded me of the days we spent, visiting all the malls in Enugu, all the eateries, showing off our love to the world. I shook those thoughts out of my mind as tears were alre-ady forming at the back of my throat.
Gospel: Baby you know I love you and I’ll always love you. Its just that circu-mtances beyond my control seems to be against us. I….
Me: Uhm…. Its alright. Just forget it.
Gospel: Not until you forgive me. I know I chose the wrong words. I didn’t just know how to explain things to you so you’ll un-derstand me.
Me: un-derstand that you have nee-ds as a man and you refused to share with me? You said you love me, what happened? Aren’t you the right person to help me get out of whatever fear it is I dwell in? Did you ever try to? No you did not. Instead, you started avoiding me and bringing in girls who I’m way better than…. Gospel its not fair.
Gospel: Baby you know I’m not good with words. You know I…..
Me: I know that. And I also know your likes of ladies, your best S-x positions. I also know you scre-w girls without protec-tion. Gospel I hate you. Get this thing clear, for every tear I shed for you,you’ll get back in tenfold.
He held me close this time, tears falling from his eyes and I looked away, fighting with my own tears. I am strong,of course I am.
Gospel: Baby plea-se I’m sorry. Forgive me.
Me: Let me go now. Just let me go.
Gospel: You know I can’t let you go. You know that. I love you so much and will do anything to make you happy.
Me: Fine. Make me happy by leaving me alone. Leave my life alone. Just let me be.
His hands left me immediately and I turned back and ran up the stairs counting the third person I loved so much who had left me all alone…… Daddy, Emeka and Gospel….
They were all gone….gone for good.
.
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What is your advice for Amanda on this matter with Gospel?
WATCHOUT FOR EPISODE 17
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