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Tales of two funny ritualist episode 17

Tales of two funny ritualist episode 17
5 years later.
We were known throu-gh out Nigeria. We were counted as the youngest millionaire in Nigeria. We owned fleet of cars, houses spre-ad over the country and companies too.
Our parents weren’t left out of these too, we build mansions for them in the village and provide for them in abundance.
Things were going smoothly for us. Dencygirl was living with me in my mansion and I showered her with money.
Flex took in one of his cousin. Her name was Ella. He decided to be training her school in while she stayed with him.
Throu-gh out the five years of staying with Dency, I didn’t t©uçh her sometimes she will think I am impotent, other times she will think I didn’t love her but if only she knew.
When times like that arises, when she is on heat and I turned her down, for her own safety. She gets angry and said I didn’t love her but then, I gave her my normal line “common my love, you of all people knows that I hate S-x before marriage”
The sound of marriage was enough to [email protected] her and we did end up ma-king love to each other.
For five years everything was peaceful, as for baba, we gave him two cows and goats every month each, just to plea-se him.
We thought everything was going fine, until this blessed day.
____________
It was due time for us to renew the charm. We had [email protected] throu-gh brothel upon brothel but didn’t see any pr©st!tût£to sacrifice.
At first we thought it normal but then, at the second week of the third month. We searched throu-gh the whole city of port Harcourt and her neighbouring state but found nothing. Then we [email protected]£ alert and scared.
We [email protected]£ back from one of our unsuccessful trips and we [email protected] ways. On getting home, I received the shocker of my life.
The red flame I was supposed to see on the head of the chos£n pr©st!tût£was on the head of dencygirl, Jesus Christ.
Dency: welcome back sweetie.
She greeted innocently but got no reply from me.
Dency: I hope everything is fine, this one you are starring at me like this. Is their any problem.
Me: erm.. No… Yes… No.
I stammered in confusion. Surely I an seeing things. This must surely be the work of my imagination. There’s surely something wrong with me, or maybe all I nee-d now is a good sleep.
Me: excuse me sweetheart, I think I have a terrible headache right now.
Dency: plea-se let’s visit the doctor.
Me: there’s no nee-d for that. All I nee-d right now is a quality sleep. There’s something definitely wrong with me.
Dency: something wrong with you?
Me: kindly excuse me plea-se.
I said as I ran inside the room me and Dencygirl but shared, I didn’t bother taking off my shoes, I just jumped on the be-d and dozed off.
________
Donflex [email protected]£ out from his SUV car and walked to the main house as the gateman closed the gate from behind.
He was worried, what is wrong with baba charm. He had searched everywhere for the pr©st!tût£they nee-ded but found none.
Just then, he saw what made him almost [email protected] out as his cousin sister Ella [email protected]£ running towards him.
Donflex: Jesus Christ!!!!
He shouted in horror, the red flame was above his cousin’s head. He couldn’t believe this. No, this is surely a pure work of his imagination.
Ella: brother what is wrong?
She asked, oblivious to her surrounding and ex-posure to danger.
Donflex: Jesus Christ!!!!!
He shouted again.
Ella: brother what is wrong now.
She asked again, fully concerned.
Donflex didn’t bother to answer her, he just entered his car and drove off with speed.
__________
Me: yes, this terrible dream must be over by now..
I thought as I stood up from the be-d with a smiling face.
Dency: sweetheart your friend is looking for you.
Dencygirl shouted from the kitchen. I ti-ptoed to the kitchen and peeped at her, yes I am right.
The red flame wasn’t there again, I had been day dreaming all this while.
I wanted to turn back and head to the sitting room when something magnificent happened.
..
I wanted to turn back when the red flame suddenly appeared again, with more intensity this time around.
I just silently ran to the sitting room and was glad that flex was there waiting for me alre-ady.
Flex: Idris.
Me: Flex I don die.
Flex: w€tin kill you.
Me: my next sacrifice na dencygirl. And you know the way I love her very much. How you go want make I kill her now?
I asked.
Flex: your own even better well well.
Me: why you say so?
Flex: me an my blood the useless thing go settle down choose, my cousin for that matter.
Me: Jesus Christ. w€tin we go do now, I no want anything to happen to Dency o.
Flex: the best thing now is to visit that useless baba o. The man go give us useless charm.
Me: na true u talk. Make I go tell dencygirl say I dey go out.
I went to the kitchen where she was preparing lunch.
Me: dency I dey come.
Dency: where una dey go again?
Me: we want just visit some business client, we go come back very very soon.
Dencygirl: OK do come back quic-k. I no want make your food cold o.
Me: no problem.
I said walking out of the kitchen.
Me: oya flex, make we dey go.
I said to Flex who stood up and followed me.
______
Me: baba, I greet you.
Flex: baba I greet you too.
We both greeted the old man sitting before his shrine.
Baba: my sons, what brou-ght you here?
Me: baba na the charm wey you give us carry us come here.
Baba: the charm I gave to you guys, what happened.
Me: the next person I am to sacrifice is my love…
I shouted in anger.
Donflex; and I can’t believe that my cousin is the next inline for me to sacrifice.
Baba: oh I un-derstand.
Me: but baba, na you say we go dey sacrifice pr©st!tût£wey that fire dey burn for their head.
Flex: w€tin come happen.
Baba: I forgot to tell you something. Once in every five years, you are entitled to loose the one closest to you.
Me: what!!!!
Baba: yes, sorry I didn’t tell you earlier. But there’s no cause for alarm. After sacrificing them, you will continue with your normal rituals.
I wanted to shout Jesus Christ but I thanked the unknown f0rç£ that prevented me from doing that.
Baba: common don’t be sad. Other girls you had been killing since are people’s children too you know.
Flex: so you want me to sleep with my cousin, is that so?
Baba: not me, that’s the demand of the gods.
Flex: God forbid, I no go do am.
Me: even me too. I no go dare temper with my love dencygirl..
Baba: then prepare to face the wrath of gods in three days time.
Me: d–n the gods, d–n you too. Nons-en-se old and foolish man.
Flex: see him bald head, like sahel Savannah.
Me: sahel Savannah even better. See how the foolish man dey like tropical rainforest.
Baba: insult me all you like. But you have less than three days to offer them up.
Flex: and if we refuse?
Baba: get re-ady to face the wrath of the gods.
We left baba’s shrine so angry and fraustrated.
_______
Me: flex, imagine w€tin the baba talk?
Flex: no mind the useless man, nothing go happen.
Me: then w€tin we go do?
Flex: make we just go sleep with any ashawo we find.
Me: why?
Flex: na the way baba program the charm. Make we sleep with ashawo, not our loved ones.
Me; on naw.
Flex: make we commot from here quic-k quic-k.
He said as we entered our car and drove off.
.
Tbc

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