WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH.
Michelle sle-pt off the moment her back t©uçhed the be-d, James [email protected] besides her watching her sleep. She was not wearing her wedding ring, is being a long time she pu-ll-ed it out of her f!nger.
James who has never re-moved his own ring stared at his f!nger, he ru-bbe-d his palm together before looking back at Michelle.
James stretch out his hand to t©uçh her but quic-kly withdraw back, he tried again but st©pped midway.
He was very careful not to offend Michelle. He wish he can hold and cudd-leher up while she sleeps but was afraid, his reaction may provoke her the more.
He moved very close to his wife and gently put his hand on her b©dy trying to feel her warm b©dy.
Michelle shakes a little, James fly with speed to the other end with of the be-d and remained still.
He looked at Michelle again, his emotions was burning up. James breathed de-eply and moved closer to her for the second time.
He tried holding her to himself, he was so gentle and Michelle did not shake, she was still slee-ping.
James k!$$£d her fore head, her n£¢k and then k!$$£d her mouth fully.
Michelle awaken suddenly, James withdrew back his hands and quic-kly crawled away from her, turned and face the other side of the be-d.
Michelle tapped him
“James…James, I know you are not asleep, turn and look at me…did you just k!ssme… did you k!ssme on thel-ips just now…James, answer me and st©p pretending to be asleep?
James breathed de-eply, his heart was racing as he turned to look at Michelle.
“i…I’m…i did… I’m sorry, i never meant to interrupt your sleep…plea-se don’t be mad at me…I won’t disturb you again….
Michelle looked at him as he went on apologizing.
“Listen to me James…don’t misun-derstand all this…the reason why I’m here is for you to get back to your feet and I will be out. plea-se, don’t come close to me, just stay at your end and put a gap between us…I don’t suppose to be even in the same be-d with you but since I decided to follow all doctor said and keep a close watch do not take it for granted…don’t even try it….do you un-derstand me?
James nodded before saying
“Alright, I won’t disturb you even though Doctor Ken said you should do whatever that will make me get well soon…i
Michelle interrupted him
“Doctor said I should help you and I have being doing that for the past six days, cooking, cleaning, feeding you and doing everything necessary. you just started eating fully by yourself two days ago. The only thing now is your left leg, which you seem to be struggling with but I’m still here watching you and ma-king sure you bounce back to health, since everyone blames me for your carelessness that resulted to accident I have being doing all I can and I’m happy God is helping me throu-gh this big task that I’m face with. Doctor Ken said if after three weeks and you are fully back to health I can take my leave. James, taking care of you do not involve you tou-ching me in be-d or k!ss!ngme while am asleep…I don’t like it…just respect yourself and let me do my work in peace…if you are looking for who to k!sswhy not go to your…
Michelle pause, she sighed and mumble something that James do not un-derstand before going back to be-d.
James did not go any close to her after that, all he did was to stare at her back from his own corner of the be-d.
It saddens him that Michelle is still angry with him but he was happy to have her around.
Her pres£nce uplift his spirit and he silently pray she will not leave or even find out about the fake accident, she may never forgive him if she knows all this was all a cooked up plan.
The following day he remained on his side of the be-d and did not go any close to Michelle
James who couldn’t sleep that night left the room and went to the dinning with his bible.
He spend most of the night re-ading and praying silently to God to restore his home.
Michelle woke up early in the morning and did not see James in be-d, she knocked on the bathroom but he was not there.
She went out of the room and saw him sitting on the dinning, he placed his head on the dining table slee-ping. There was an open bible lying closed to him.
She stood there watching him and wondering many things.
Michelle checked the bible chapter that he was re-ading before falling asleep, it was a psalm 121, and she began to re-ad few verses.
“I lift up my eyes to the hill, where does my help come from…my help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth…
Michelle kept re-ading to the end.
She tapped James awake, asking him to go and lie down inside.
James did not leave immediately, he stare right at nothing and when his eyes was beginning to close up again Michelle tapped him.
James stood up, as he took the first step he remember that he was not supposed to walk normal, he quic-kly adjusted and walk gently to the room.
Michelle began her daily chores, he later went inside and asked James if he was re-ady for his breakfast but James told her that he was going to pray till 12noon before he eats anything.
Michelle left the room, she sat in the sitting room thinking to herself.
James kept his distance and did not say much as he devote his time re-ading and praying and it encourages Michelle to also study on her own.
Another night [email protected]£, James suggested that she takes the night prayer and she did before going to be-d.
She [email protected] the be-d backing James who try to subdue his racing emotions. he tossed and turn on the be-d, ever since she warned him not to t©uçh her, James tried everything possible to do as she said
Is being over five months he had any intim-acy with his wife, ever since the incident that took their joy away. Michelle lying in the same be-d with him is never easy, he struggles to remain in his space in order not to offend her.
Michelle was awake but kept her eyes sh0t, she tries to f0rç£ herself to sleep but couldn’t.
Within the days of attending to James health she was also bonding, getting use to him again and her emotions was also building up.
She turned to James and said.
“Can you just be quiet, you have being turning up and down on the be-d…I can’t sleep with the noise….
James breathed de-eply and said
“Maybe if you will allow me to hold you…. you will be able to sleep and I will sleep too. I’m not trying to get you angry…I’m just asking kindly….plea-se…
Michelle was quiet and did not say yes or a no, James took her silent for a yes and gently moved closer to her, he drew her into his b©dy and cudd-leher up.
And little by little step on James [email protected] Michelle fell for it and they had their first inti-mate night in months which also continued the next day.
And after two weeks everything appears to be normal but Michelle did not leave, she stayed.
she and her husband had time for everything.
Time to pray and study, time to for chores and time to [email protected] have fun. James even takes her out.
They hang out and go to church together, their pastor was happy to see them together again.
James went back to work and Michelle resumed back with Tim and she was more lively than she has ever being.
While doing their normal study one weekend, Michelle re-ad about forgiveness, James looked at her ring f!nger which holds her wedding ring, she was wearing the ring and James was very happy.
“So, from what we just re-ad, do I have another chance to call you my wife now…I know is being all good and rosy recently. I have being the happiest man alive this past two months that went by, I really want to earn your full forgiveness… I love you so much Michelle and won’t be able to live without you, if it means me apologizing every day, rolling on the floor just to merit your love I will do anything. Do you know that we were going almost half of the year as enemies….those silent months was the worst period of my life… I even thought I will st©p breathing… my love, I’m so sorry I put you throu-gh so much…I never wanted to hurt you in anyway, hurting you is just like hurting myself…I thought I was going to die with the guilt and when you talked about divorcing me every blood in me st©p flowing…I was going crazy. I only find solace in talking to God and re-ading the bible and also visiting pastor who told me all will be well again…my faith was failing [email protected] but I refused to give up…I trust God to restore my home…and I can’t thank God enough for this miracle of having you back here with me….i just hope I will be able to earn your full forgiveness and make you proud…
Michelle listened to her husband without interrupting him and when he was done talking she said.
“It was never easy I as-sure you, it took me a long time. It was not just about forgive and let it slide, no…is far more than that. what you did got to my soul…if the baby has lived it would have being so easy for me to let it all go but my life was almost cut short and in the process my baby was gone…ooh, it still hurt real bad. But I never wish you dead. When I watch you lie there in the hospital, I remembered lying same way when our unborn child was taking out of me. I couldn’t watch you die James. I know I hated you for all that happened but I never wish you dead, never. I still look back and it hurt like yesterday, I try not to dwell on my pains anymore, I try to see you differently. Katie, Tim and Doctor Ken made me see my own self clearly, they said your death was going to be on me…Katie dropped few words that t©uçhes me greatly and i started working so ha-rd to see you differently…I use to be very angry and sad. angry with everything, with you, with myself and even with God… all of that changes while nursing you back to health my anger turned to pity then something far more stronger…my love for you was gradually resurfacing…getting free from hate and everything that held me captive. hmmm…I just want God to do something new…to help us in our daily race because is not easy to keep running…watching you study encourages me the more….
“Thank you Michelle…I’m not promising it will be a smooth ride but with God’s help I will not mess up again…I will be the husband you have always wanted, I will be the man you prayed to have…I’m sorry I created a hvge crack on the wall of our marriage, I defiled our vow on the altar of God, I’m de-eply sorry. God is helping me to seal it up and there will be no crack again…I will forever cherish you with my life. I know what it took me to have you here with me…it was a hvge sacrifice. Thank you for giving me another chance…this is another beginning for us…
Michelle visited Katie who was lamenting over her fiance
“…He has not being taking my calls since two weeks…we had misun-derstanding the last time I visited…but I apologies even though he was the one at fault. I thought it was all settle before I returned back, I don’t know he was still angry with me. can you imagine anytime he wants to receive a call he will move away from me, far from me…he doesn’t even allow me close to his phone,even in the night the person will be calling him…no reasonable name, he saved the person as “Lv”, I don’t un-derstand what that means. I was angry and threaten to leave if he does not put a st©p to the constant call and he said I should leave if I want to…we quarried and I have to end up apologizing…I’m always the one traveling down to see him…he never comes down to see me…we planned on getting married and I looked forward to it but with all this his recent behavior…babe, I’m just tired…maybe this distance relationsh!pis not working out for me… I wanted to move down and be close to him but he said no I should wait until we are married. I told everyone that I have a fiance and I’m hurrying him up for us to get married but he is not even acting serious…over one week now I have not heard from him, my mind is telling me to travel down to go and see if he is okay but I’m battling within me. what if he is purposely avoiding me just because of that small quarrel that I have alre-ady apologies…he said that I have trust issue, I’m not yet his wife and I’m alre-ady acting as if I own him. That was what he said to me…maybe I will travel again to see him… he maybe sick or something….i will travel tomorrow.
Michelle sigh angrily
“why not give him a break…he is pas-sing a clear message to you which you don’t want to un-derstand…you shouldn’t be the only one travelling all the time to see him, let him also come down here. st©p pestering him about marriage, he may not even be re-ady yet but using it to hold you down because of the benefits he may be getting from you, I know you two have being in this distance relationsh!pthing for a long while but if it is not working out just don’t f0rç£ it…st©p travelling all the time to go and see him, he should also come down here if he feels that you are important to him. since he is not taking your calls…leave him when he is re-ady to call back and explain why he has not being taking your calls then you will know what to do…just relax.
Michelle and Katie talks about many other things, Michelle felt like throwing up all of a sudden.
She try to control herself but it kept rushing up to her truth and she move away with speed to the bathroom and [email protected]£ out after she was done.
“Are you alright babe…? Katie asked her.
“I don’t know…this vomiting thing started this week and another thing is that i missed my flow again this month…last month and this month. Could it be what I’m thinking? Michelle asked Katie with a confused face.
Katie started laughing, Michelle who do not un-derstand why she was laughing so ha-rd while saying “James has scored a goal alre-ady” she decided to ignore her.
She was not sure if it was pregnancy, the last pregnancy she loosed took them time to conceive. she was so worried after a year and no child and another year [email protected]£ yet nothing. James will console her asking her not to trouble herself back then since they were medically okay. When she finally conceived, the pregnancy [email protected]£ with sickness, tiredness, feeling hungry every time and many other complication before it finally disappeared tragically.
and In just three months of being with James and she is doubting is she is pregnant or not because it looks so soon. she doesn’t feel sick or constantly tired just as the first, the only trouble she was having is throwing up which started this week, and it appears to be normal. The symptoms was different from the first.
To be continued
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